We've all been in serious relationships at one point or another. And we've all been with somebody that we thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives with. Some of us made that thought a reality, and some of us did not get that far. Of course I'm speaking of mature relationships and not the puppy love of early years.
Why do people grow apart? What makes two people that seem perfect for each other wake up one morning and realize that they no longer have anything to offer one another?
I recently went through a major break up with a woman that I had been dating for years. We shared every emotion humanly possible with each other. I even thought that we were going to get married and have the house with the dog and white pickett fence. Even with all that we went through together over the years, we fell victim to growing apart.
Even now I still feel that she is the perfect woman in many respects and has most qualities that I will look for in a wife. But even still, I know that our break was for the best. The irony in that is both scary and intriguing to me. Will I look back on this in the future and regret it? Do I have commitment issues that will carry over into another relationship? Will I end up pursuing a woman that is NOT good for me like so many people are prone to do?
I must admit that it's weird to know that somebody that I spent years with may one day be a stranger to me. In any event, I've learned a lot about myself through her as we all do in relationships--and I hope that she can say the same.
Life is funny, sad, and beautiful all at once...
10 comments:
Dang, son... What's crazy is I've been working on a post about love myself. Like, simultaneously while you were working on this post, I was workin' on basically the same subject. I was even looking for a good black art image to put with mine - which it seems you found. Crazy.
Mattafact, I won't really comment on this right here. See my blog for my thoughts on the subject.
I didn't read all of this, but Brandon did you say that you still think your ex might be the perfect mate for you? Based on what? Why'd you break up then? Correct me if I really misread.
Nah... I said that she has qualities that I would look for in a woman. And at the same time there were things that she needed to work on as well.
We broke because the things that need to be fixed were bigger than the things that didn't. Even still, her good qualities exceptional and are what kept me there for so long.
If you're asking if I'm trying to go back, that's not the case. I'm just expressing the feelings and thoughts that most people have when they've ended a long relationship.
"Life is funny, sad, and beautiful all at once..." -Brandon
Love that sentence. Life is very interesting to me because sometimes it doesn't make sense until time has passed and allowed us to look back on certain situations: "Life is lived forward but understood backwards."
Sometimes there are parts of us that need to be fulfilled that we are unaware that exist. Maybe there is someone else out there who is better equipped to upgrade you to a level of yourself that you may not even know. Maybe that's where the void (if that is ok to use) came from in your relationship.
Priorities change... what once was important is not anymore. People grow at different rates. When one person out grows the other at a much faster rate then they no longer can satisfy your needs in whatever area.
LOVE is great, but compatiblity and similar direction in life will make for a lasting relationship.
Good points. It's crazy how things are clear once you're not in the situation, but when you're in it, YOU'RE IN IT. It's very easy to rationalize that things are OK once you're in a relationship, and that's how people end up being unhappy with each other in the long run.
And direction in life is very important as well. If we're not on the same bus, taking the same trip, we won't make it to the same point.
I like your blog. On the brighter side... its' better to grow apart before marriage then during marriage. Maybe she was just of glimpse of what's to come, so you know there are good women out there. You also learned the importance of agreement and compatibility.
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BEAUTIFUL LIFE makes a good point at least we both found out before marriage. Their are plenty of "Good" women, but for a lasting relationship she has to the "RIGHT" woman.
I've had a few break ups too and I asked myself the same questions. I think that everything happens for a reason so if it's meant to be, it will be. If not, then it won't last. That simple.
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