Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Women...Snatching the Cat Back in '08?
I snatched this from a friend of mine in NC (no pun intended). Carah is urging women to be more careful in rushing into sex w/ men. Mo' hate in '08? Thoughts?
Has a guy ever hit you with this line: “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now.”
After all the phone conversations, flirty texts on the daily, fun times lounging out at each other’s apartments/condos/houses and passionate nights…and mornings… and afternoons… and weekends – and he’s not ready to commit? WTF?!
“Well, I mean, that’s cool,” some of us manage to mumble with a strained smile and phony nonchalance – realizing that the instead of being ½ of a ‘deep connection’ we thought was so real, ol’ boy viewed us nothing more than a glorified cut buddy. We immediately change the conversation topic to avoid any more embarrassment. Inside we’re both hurting and fuming.
Perhaps you’ve been in a situation where the man wants an open relationship or insists on ‘taking it slow.’ Or if your boy is really bold, maybe he ‘doesn’t believe in titles.’
>Excuse me while I roll my eyes in the worst way<
Ladies, it’s time that we stop going for the pathetic okeydoke and stop falling prey to the lame @ss excuses from the menfolk. In the words of the unforgettably raunchy rapper Khia, it’s time to SNATCH THE CAT BACK (Should I really be quoting the chick who’s biggest – and only– solo hit was, “My Neck, My Back”? Well, that’s besides the point…)
Men get sex too often and too easily nowadays. The ‘chase’ is practically non-existent, as many of us lay down with guys waaa-aaay too soon. Why? Because:
*** He looks good
*** He has $$$ and we want him to keep spending
*** He took us out one time and now we want to show our appreciation
*** We want him to continue to like us or like us more
*** We’re lonely
*** _____________ (fill in your own reason)
In speaking to various male friends, picking their brains on this subject for the sake of all female-kind, I’ve been schooled that if a man can get it too easily, he’ll lose interest quickly. I know, I know -- it's not a major bombshell or discovery, but it's a fact that we all too often forget in our 'Sex and the City'-esque lives.
Now of course in the heat of the moment, men will dispute this claim vehemently. Does this sound familiar: “My last girlfriend and I had sex on the first date” or “We’re adults – if we both want to, what’s the problem?”
Indeed, you are an adult and have the freedom to do whatever the heck you want. But don’t be mad when the situation at the beginning of this note plays out time and time again.
Women, listen closely: We have a lot more control with men than we think we do.
So make him WAIT. Make him WORK FOR IT. Make him EARN IT. Go OUT on DATES (clarification: a ‘date’ is not watching DVDs at his crib every other night). Challenge him to get to know you as an individual outside the bedroom first – your likes, dislikes, hobbies, quirks, dreams and aspirations.
Will this guarantee commitment? ABSOLUTELY NOT. However, you’ll see what the guy is all about. And if he doesn’t stick around after the second date because you’re not an easy lay, well f--- ‘em (no, not literally!). And the guys that are willing to wait are quite possibly fellas we should take seriously.
SNATCH THE CAT BACK!
Let’s stop playing ourselves, ladies. That’s why some of y’all are putting ‘it’s complicated’ in the relationship status box of your FB pages. He’s getting it on the regular. You’re confused about where y’all stand couple-wise. And he’s content with the undefined arrangements.
I know this sounds totally ‘after school special’-ish and similar to a part of somebody’s mama’s ‘Birds and the Bees’ schpiel, but there’s truth to it. I’m not being prude or corny. I’m been 100% honest, having learned this lesson from life experiences, guy friends and numerous homegirls who have confided in me, confused and distraught because their boo wouldn’t commit.
So let’s elevate in 2008.
Lock it down ladies, and see the results. Not only will you move up from booty call status, you’ll get some nice dinners and movies out of the deal. Lol. We have the ‘p’, and though we seem to forget, ‘p’ is a very powerful thing.
Is it difficult? Yup – but there are ways to cope: vibrators, flicks and Zane, to name a few (hey, a sista is just being real). Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying it’s wrong to give it up. Just make sure you are giving it up on YOUR terms, not his.
Snatch the cat back y’all, and I guarantee you’ll be treated like the Queen that you know you are by a KING... not given the run around by a wannabe PLAYA.