Sunday, July 29, 2007

Do Big Time Christians Date Non-Big Time Christians?

What's good folks? Yes yes... I'm back. Orlando was fun. Had a good time, learned some new things, played golf, and met new people.

One night after a meeting, I went down to the bar and hung out with a co-worker. While we were there, two girls from the meeting came in and chilled with us. One of the ladies was feeling me pretty tough.

We cracked jokes, drank, ate... cracked more jokes, drank more, ate more... We were then joined by two more female co-workers who joined the party. So we proceeded to crack more jokes, drink more and eat more. We were THEN joined by two more female co-workers... you get the point.

So there we are... two guys and six girls really enjoying each others' company. Of all the girls there, I was really feeling Josie. She was pretty, well spoken, beautiful smile, nice personality... all the things that you'd initially find attractive in a person.

Being that we were at the bar and having a good time, I turned my attention to her and asked if she'd like something to drink.

"No thanks...I don't drink."

"Sure you drink... they got water, sodas, everything! Water ALL NIGHT...On Me!"

She laughed and I ordered her a water. Afterwards I got her number and called it a night.

The next and final night virtually everybody at the meeting planned to hit the Pleasure Island Clubs. You better believe that I was excited because it was the last night, and it was guaranteed that everybody at the meeting (which boasts a huge amount of young, fine, single women) were going to let loose and have a good time.

So while I was waiting on the rest of the guys to come downstairs to make our way over to the clubs, Josie shows up. When I asked her if she was going to the club, she said that she didn't do clubs. One of my older friends then asked her where she lived and what church she went to. The conversation about churches lasted for 10-15 minutes. In that conversation found out that she grew up in the church, that she was the president of campus ministries when she was in college and that her walk with Christ is super strong.

When it was time to roll out, she said that she was just going to walk around the park by herself to look around and probably hit a movie. I thought it would probably be a good idea to escort her, even though I was really trying to hit the club.

After the movie we walked back and, surprisingly, the conversation was stale. I'm usually pretty decent at having good conversations with women I'm interested in, but I was trying to find common ground and it just wasn't happening. I think that when I found out about her "walk" I really limited myself on what I thought was appropriate to talk about with her, which wasn't much. And the things that I thought were "safe" to talk about didn't spark much of a conversation. Even still, she said that she wants to come visit me during my birthday week in a couple months.

So here's my question. Do you guys think it's possible for a devout Christian to have a relationship with someone who believes in Christ but is still "out in the world?" Would the gap between our relationships with God even be condusive to the thought of a serious relationship? I believe that in addition to attraction and moralitly, religion plays a huge role in finding a compatible partner.

Time for you guys to give your boy some good relationship advice. What do you think?


Gene said...

When any two people who have different life philosophies try to form a union, it becomes a challenge. Anyone CAN be with anyone if they want to. I mean women stay in abusive relationships for years. The question is, is it healthy for two people so different to try to make something like this work.

Ticia said...

I agree with Gene... You may need to weigh the pros and cons...are you willing to deal with her being a devout Christian!?!?

Andrew The Asshole said...

You are going to have to deal with have BLUE BALLS. I say you spend time with her and date her friends.

Peer groups are made up of people that have common ground or value system. Somebody will have to change their value system.

Anonymous said...

Why do people enter relationships that they know will come to an end?

? said...

When is one too old to go to the club? I know "young" celebrities are older (Jay Z, Janet Jackson, etc.) now than they were when we were younger, but when is enough enough?

Andrew The Asshole said...

to compare the average person to a celebrity isn't far. Thats a different lifestyle all together.

The real question is at what age are you suppose to become responsible and start going to home depot on saturday, so you can finish your "honey-to-do" list? Paint the house, cut the grass... All this sounds really fuckin' boring!!!!

Ivy said...

Have you ever thought that dating a devout Christian might make you a stronger one? That that is what Christ wants for YOU - and consequently, is the reason you met her?

Or, is the thought of you becoming/being a devout Christian freaking you out?

Do we need a little time-out at the altar?

A Beautiful Life said...

It's not going to be fulfilling unless one of you changes.

Joe said...

I'm assuming Ivy is a female, because - and no disrespect - your post just sounds like something a woman dating a non-Christian man would say to herself .... "I can mold him. I can make him more Christian."

We have to be really careful with what we think we're capable of. When people tell us who they are ... BELIEVE THEM. If dude says, I don't do 8 a.m. services - or services period - because I'm usually hung over, don't be surprised when he is .... actually hung over.

Gene said...

Painting the house and cutting the grass only seems boring if your idea of fun is snapping and doing that motorcycle dance when Shawty Can I Buy You a Drank comes on. LOL. And there's a time for that .... I guess. But when should one get to a point when they say, my favorite pasttimes ARE investing in my house and not taking body shots off of some stranger? Surely growth is relative, but is there a point when you say, Eff that "growing up on your own terms" mess! You are too d*mn old to be in the club!!!

Ivy said...

First of all, Joe, yes I am a woman - Ivy is a female name. :-)

Secondly, Brandon did not say he was a non-Christian. He said he wasn't a strong Christian.

Thirdly, I did not say or imply that that woman could change him. That attitude that you've displayed, Joe, would definitely be a barrier to any type of change.

But I am sure that Brandon was raised Christian, and so he knows what he SHOULD be doing. I'm just suggesting that God put this woman in his path as a way to introduce Christianity in a fresh way.

We're not talking about a difference between a Christian and an atheist - we're talking about the difference between someone who lives/walks their faith vs. someone who just believes.

Ultimately, it's up to Brandon. I was just giving my $0.02.

Brandon said...

Thanks...everybody has made valid points and i appreciate it. Seems like if I did get into a relationship with her, I would either have to change to meet her standards or "corrupt" her (for lack of a better word). I believe I COULD make it work, but I would have to change who I am completely, and I don't think doing that for a woman (as opposed to doing it for God) is a good idea. Much thanks!

Joe said...

My bad Ivy if it looked like I was putting words in your mouth. I was talking about you specifically, I was just being hypothetical. Your 2 cents was well taken. : )

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