Friday, April 13, 2007

Andrew the AssHole Says: Get Cosmetic Surgery

Is getting cosmetic surgery OK? Does your physical appearance determine your worth? Andrew the AssHole weighs in on the topic. What do you think?


Brazilian women are arguably some of the most beautiful women in the world. They come in all flavors from blonde hair, blue eyes to your chocolate brown. To top it off, their intoxicating accented whispers of “Ummm Papi!” in your ear makes them a commodity. Brazil is a hilly country and many people walk, so their bodies are normally fit. I recently found out that they are manufactured beauties. Brazil spends more money per capita for physical appearance than anywhere in the world.

This brings me to the subject of cosmetic surgery. Some may think this is a shallow way to spend money, but I beg to differ. Don't think this only applies to women, Men should go get fixed as well. Don't feel like going to the gym 4x's a week? Buy a chest. If you frown all the time, get a face lift. Maybe your girl didn't leave you because you weren't listening, but because you couldn't give her any “Act-Right” (Good Sex). Enlarge your penis!

Many studies have been done to prove that sexually desired people make more money than the undesirable. Even if you make $50K and the difference is 10%, that's a $200K over your working career. At a $20K investment that is a 1000% return on investment. Not to mention the fringe benefits of looking good. Your teacher gives you better grades through school. Your boss lets you take longer lunches, and don't forget all the free dinners and gifts you get for looking good.

Cosmetic surgery will increase your self-esteem. The higher your self-esteem, the happier and easier your life will be. So if nature didn't make you perfect, get help by getting fixed. You already do it with diet pills and hair products, why not take the next step?

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