Intelligent Ignorance

Manny Pacquiao's Greatest Opponent...Bob Arum

2012-01-10T18:25:00.008-05:00

Let's get straight to the point: Manny Pacquiao has to grow some balls and take control of his own career. Instead of worrying about fighting Floyd Mayweather, Jr. (42-0) to cement his legacy as one of the greatest pound-for-pound fighters that the world has ever seen, he must first defeat his biggest opponent--and promoter--Bob Arum.

It's very sad when a casual boxing fan, such as myself, can clearly see that Bob Arum is the main impediment to making a fight between Mayweather and Pacquiao come to fruition. Arum has done an excellent job over the past few years of successfully shifting negative public opinion onto the Mayweather camp as the cause for the mega-fight not taking place. Over the past year, however, that veil has slowly been lifted and Top Rank's chronic dodging of Mayweather has been exposed.

How is it possible to say that your fighter is available to fight against various in-house opponents potentially on May 5th when it was thought that Mayweather was going to jail, but then turn around the VERY NEXT DAY and say that Manny wouldn't be ready to fight until June after Mayweather's sentence was postponed to accomodate a May fight--citing an eye cut, that apparently, wouldn't have mattered had the May 5 opponent been Marquez, Peterson, Cotto or Bradley? Why not just admit that you don't want to fight Mayweather under any circumstances. At least that would be respectable. Why insult the boxing public's intelligence? Why lie?

Why lie about wanting to build a new stadium to accommodate the fight when you could just as easily make the May fight with Mayweather and put a rematch clause into the negotiations regardless of who emerges the victor? Maybe even take the rematch to the Cowboy's stadium that holds as many people as the suggested new construction would hold? It's obvious that this is just another stall tactic to kill the fight, but why lie?

I'll tell you why...

It's clear that Arum is more concerned with his own bank account than preserving the integrity of the sport. Sharing profits with other organizations would cut into his personal profit and force Arum to be transparent in his financial dealings with other promoters, Mayweather, and Pacquiao. He would, ultimately, be forced to be honest, and that's not good for Arum.

It's also clear that he has no faith that his prize fighter could defeat the undefeated Mayweather, thus potentially cutting into his long-term profits since a Pacquiao loss would hurt his marketing power.

I get it! Bob is only protecting HIS financial interest because, after all, boxing in a business; He wants to get as much mileage out of Pacquiao as he can before he cashes out on a Mayweather bout at the very end of his career; but in the process, Arum is singlehanded choking the life out of a sport that is already on life support. There is no viable interest in any other fights out there for Pac and Arum knows it. Instead, he would rather make as many in-house fights as he can because he knows that he can financially take advantage of his own guys on the front and back ends without any scathing questions being asked. It's all about greed.

Manny...

For the love of the sport, your fans, and the integrity of boxing, take control of your own affairs, fire Bob Arum like Mayweather did, and make the fight that the world has been unnecessarily waiting on for the past 2-3 years happen. He is not working in your best interest and is using you for every dime that he can muster out of you, and I am sure that if you look closely at your finances, Arum is making more off of you than you are making off of yourself. He does not care about your legacy and will be on to the next "champion" should you happen to get knocked out by the subpar in-house competition that he is currently spoon-feeding you. You don't need him! Be smart! Make your own decisions. Hire promoters on a per-fight basis and call your own shots!

When you look back on your boxing career, ask yourself if you stepped up the challenge of defeating your biggest opponent...Bob Arum.

And also, respond to Mayweather's Tweet calling you out @FloydMayweather. He's his own man. Perception is everything, and unfortunately for you, Floyd is winning that battle right now.

Back...

2012-01-09T22:32:00.004-05:00

What's up folks? Actually, I'm positive that nobody will see this post, but I just wanted to let anyone who may be out there know that I am STILL ALIVE!!! LOL. It's been about three years since I left the blogosphere and in that time I've had a lot of life experiences that have changed my perspective on things in some ways.

And in many ways I'm still the same Ol' G...

We'll see how my perspective has changed (or stayed the same) soon enough. I think it's time for me to start writing again. I've been gone long enough. I'll talk to you soon...

B

The Chopper Suit

2009-04-20T17:06:00.002-05:00

Check out Bow Weezy's "Chopper Suit" Reaction:

I have been seeing references to the infamous "Chopper Suit" since February and only found out what it was referring to today. Watch Chopper City from Making the Band make of an ass of himself by trying to stunt in an oversized, Blade Brown from Class Act suit. Hilarious.

Very important: PAY NO ATTENTION TO WHAT HE SAYS...JUST LOOK AT THE SUIT

Welcome To Heartbreak

2009-02-17T21:21:00.001-05:00

Chester French

2009-02-09T01:31:00.002-05:00

This new group is signed to Pharell's Star Trak label. They're like The Beatles meets N.E.R.D. meets Motown. I'm liking this.

New Ciara...Pretty Tight

2009-02-02T11:14:00.000-05:00

The Most Important Moment of 2008

2009-01-16T10:59:00.004-05:00

There is no one who will dispute that 2008 was the year of Barack Obama. In what was probably the most exciting election in U.S. history, we emerged with our first Black President. And while many would argue that his actual election on November 4th was the most important moment of 2008, I would argue that his speech on race was the single most important moment of the election.

With his poll numbers dropping and his back against the wall due to the Jeremiah Wright issue Obama delivered a speech that put the controversy to bed while simultaneously forcing America deal with its racism. The Jeremiah Wright controversy turned out to be a blessing because it allowed him to publicly dissect the one issue that would have been the road block to his victory. It made his relationship with the Black community stronger through empathy and made those White swing voters who were afraid of pulling the lever for a Black man realize that his candidacy transcended race.

I think that without this speech November 4th would have never been possible.

Black Scholar Debate: Private U. versus State U. versus HBCU

2009-01-09T14:48:00.003-05:00

This post comes from my chapter brother Kofi Bofah who is the Founder/CEO of Onyx Investments in Chicago. Great read.

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Let us evaluate the daunting paradox that confronts the Black intellectual in terms of collegiate alliance. The ultimate decision to grant support towards a public university, elite private institution, or a Historically Black College-University (H.B.C.U.) is of great importance at face value. As we delve deeper into the issue, we will expose the fact that the said proposal is a mere microcosm of the other-worldly challenges confronting the Black Scholar.

We shall assume that the applicant is ideally positioned to select the institution of his choice as a consequence of academic and financial merit. This mandate allows for intelligent benchmarking as we may effectively compare and contrast the top programs of the aforementioned private, public, and H.B.C.U. categories.

Our analysis is not an indictment against artistic colleges or trade schools. Rather, the work highlights the personal experiences of the author. I am a 2002 graduate of The University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill and carry numerous acquaintances from private universities and Historically Black Colleges. These are the circles with which I am most familiar.

Let us evaluate the merit: Private University versus State Public versus Historically Black College.

Private University

Examples: Harvard, Princeton, Yale, M.I.T., Stanford, Duke, Chicago, Northwestern, Brown

Pros: Name Recognition, Academic Rigor, Networking, Unlimited Resources

Cons: Irrelevant Sports, hyper-competitive atmosphere, limited social activity, expense

Challenges for the Black Intellectual: Minimal Black enrollment. Students and graduates largely subjugated to "Uncle Tom" venom by the Black Community.

The academic rigor of the elite United States Private University is unmatched. 22 out of the 25 top Universities according to the U.S. News and World Report are Private Universities. The names loom large as a salute to intellectual firepower from the Harvard - Yale - Princeton - PENN - Dartmouth - Cornell - Columbia - Brown University Ivy League to the Duke - Stanford - Cal Tech - M.I.T. - Johns Hopkins - Chicago - Northwestern - Vanderbilt University regional stalwarts.

These institutions are worlds unto themselves and are even responsible for outright intellectual movements. For example, Stanford brainpower dominates the Internet; the University of Chicago has introduced the world to a school of economic thought; and Hopkins, along with Duke University is synonymous with medical breakthroughs.

The academic capacity along with the sheer networking available to the attendants of these schools is unparalleled. Barack Obama went to Harvard, Google and Intel were nurtured in the hallowed corridors of Stanford University, and the late Milton Friedman upheld the term "Chicago" economist.

Although we intimated earlier that expense was not an issue for our prospect - the decree was telegraphed in response to the admit-reject scenario. The admit-reject is an applicant that is mockingly admitted to a University that he is unable to afford. We are assuming that our ideal candidate enjoys the backing of personal, family financial support and/or scholarships.

Still, expense is always an issue due to the opportunity cost factor. 2008-2009 undergraduate tuition and fees for these top-25 private institutions average $36,545. The outliers are Rice University at Houston, TX with a $29,960 outlay and Columbia University in New York City at $39,326 for 2008-2009 tuition and fees. Expect total costs to approach one quarter of a million dollars in exchange for a diploma from the elite Private University.

Financially, middle-class parents are exasperated and Private U. graduates are often strapped with outrageous levels of debt throughout their working years.

Is it really worth it?

The crushing financials along with the sky-high expectations of these credentialed Golden Children may easily propagate an eerie aura of malaise. This talented-tenth elite group must not only accept the torch of family and peer expectations - but is unwittingly burdened with carrying the flag of an entire race. The Black Intellectual is tormented by this paradox. He must fully embrace a Western Culture that has not always embraced his person.

The toxic dichotomy is exacerbated by the jealous suspicion that seeks to degrade his every accomplishment. The Black Scholar "acts white," "talks white," and is ridiculed as an out-of touch snob by legions of his own crab-like people and society at-large.

Carlton Banks wanted to go to Princeton.

Private School University Recommendation: Attend for the intellectual stimulation. Money must really be a non-issue.

Public University

Examples: Cal-Berkeley, UVA, UCLA, Michigan, Wisconsin, UNC-Chapel Hill, Georgia Tech

Pros: Relative affordability, collegiate atmosphere, selective programs comparable to Privates, general diversity.

Cons: Crushing amounts of students, resources privy to State budgeting, distractions.

Challenges for the Black Intellectual: The Public U. graduate must fiercely battle for positioning amongst the bourgeoisie Jack and Jill crowd while still confronting the "White School" stigma.

The flagship Public University is representative of its State and entire region. Whereas elite private institutions are close-knit beacons of intellectualism - State U. is a coordinated mass movement of scholarship, sporting events, and social activity.

For example, the University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill is embraced throughout the Tar Heel State while our Duke University neighbors our mocked as haughty Northern carpetbaggers -designated by the University of New Jersey at Durham quasi nameplate.

The collegiate atmosphere is under girded by the infusion of this regional sentiment. Although the University of Texas lists 2007 enrollment at an already staggering 50,170 - UT is actually backed by 25 million Lone Star residents in the name of State Pride and tax dollars.

Overall, State U. academics are not quite as rigorous as the aforementioned Private Universities. The University of California at Berkeley is the top-ranked public school - but is twenty-first nationally according to U.S. News. Berkeley, the University of Virginia, and the University of California - Los Angeles are the public universities that round out the bottom of the top-twenty five pecking order.

The top-tier public school is a bargain-bin value for state residents. 2008-2009 in-state tuition and fees for Berkeley, UCLA, and UVA average out at a very manageable $8,422 figure. Thirtieth ranked UNC is a special value for native Tar Heels with a minimal $5,396 tuition bill and Florida-Gainesville is a mere pittance for Sunshine State residents at $3,790. The expense of a full, four-year education is often equivalent to one year's tuition at a top private university.

Out-of-State tuition and fees expenses are roughly $10,000 less than the private schools, with an average $28,414 calculation for these three public schools that have been recognized as top 25 institutions. Still, the $29,600 charge for the University of Virginia is comparable to the $29,960 tab for the higher-ranked Rice University; and twenty-sixth ranked Michigan carries a steep $32,401 out-of-state tuition tab that is comparable to any University in terms of expense.

Public school University students work hard and play hard. The State U. graduate must remain vigilant to effectively combat the debauchery that comes part in parcel with 30,000-50,000 young adults left to fend for themselves for the first time.

The State University easily degenerates into Animal Farm Party U.

This may not exactly be a bad thing.

Public School University Recommendation: The enrollee is seeking the complete collegiate experience and exudes the requisite stability to stand tall against the masses. The flagship in-state school should always be considered.

Historically Black Colleges and Universities

Examples: Howard University, S.C. State, NC A&T, NC Central, Morehouse, Spelman, Florida A&M.

Pros: Community geared to support African Americans. Tightly knit network.

Cons: Lack of resources, lesser academic rigor, unrealistic model of society.

Challenges for the Black Intellectual: Males dismissed as militant, angry Black Men; Females caricatured as militant, angry Soul Sistas.

The top-ranked H.B.C.U.s are Spelman College, Howard, and Morehouse. Unfortunately, Howard University is the only member of this group that may lay claim to a ranking according to the U.S. News and Word Report guide. Howard is ranked as the 102nd best university in the nation - tied with such notables as Florida State, the Illinois Institute of Technology, and U Mass - but slightly ahead of the University of Tennessee.

No other H.B.C.U. is ranked within the top 130 programs. South Carolina State University at Orangeburg is the next in line with a "Tier 3" listing.

The Historically Black College came into existence in response to the second Morrill Land-Grant Act of 1890 (the original Morrill Land-Grant Act was proposed to advance the educational standards of Americans.) The mandate ordered that states using federal land grant funds to construct universities must open these schools to all races - or allocate money for segregated Black colleges that were apparently "alternatives" to white schools. 16 exclusively Black institutions were to receive 1890 land-grant funds.

History has exposed the legislated "separate but equal" logic to be a complete farce. Unfortunately, inadequate funding, resources, and overall access sabotage the H.B.C.U. model.

Howard University lists an endowment fund that is a shade over $500 million. This figure is a grotesque tragedy in comparison to Harvard's $34 billion war chest. The Historically Black College struggles to compete with these wealthy private institutions and the Public Universities that absorb the bulk of State House education funds. Politically, the allocation of tax dollars to the flagship schools representing larger cross sections of society as opposed to one specific group is more plausible.

The H.B.C.U. is an alternative Universe where the environment is built to comfort the African-American at every cost. This is not the America that we all know.

In spite of these shortcomings, the Historically Black College remains a staple of the Black Community. These campuses automatically facilitate a camaraderie and cultural pride that is impossible to achieve at the typical private institution that features a scant African American student body, or the far-flung public university where the individual is easily lost in the shuffle.

The Historically Black College is a supportive environment built for Black scholars to fervently pursue academics without the looming fear of outside persecution.

Historically Black College Recommendation: The applicant's selection is an indication of his full embrace of Black Culture, rather than the naive indictment of the racial and socioeconomic machinations of society at-large.

Conclusions

A sheep is still a sheep, regardless of whatever degree that he holds.

The diploma is merely a piece of paper indicating the one has completed a particular level of study. This shred of paper is meaningless without the driving personality backing the document. Essentially, the true elite thrive in all environments while the masses revert towards the mean, irrespective of educational pedigree or social positioning.

The selection in regards to the merit of a particular private school, public university, of a Historically Black College will only highlight the strengths and further exacerbate the weaknesses of the individual.

The Black Scholar already recognizes the fun-house essence of his existence. The Black Intellectual must fully embrace a world that is privy to degrade his character with both subtle directives and outright hostilities.

Birthday Girl

2009-01-04T13:05:00.002-05:00

Leave it to The Roots to make an abstract video about pedophilia and underage sex. This song was left on the cutting room floor of their latest album, Rising Down, mainly because it did not fit in with the dark sound of the album. Though this video never aired on MTV or BET I think that it was one of the most original, and disturbing, videos of 2008.

Christmas and Selfishness

2008-12-28T01:45:00.007-05:00

If you listen to the words of the late Eartha Kitt (God rest her soul) it's obvious that Christmas was a holiday created to perpetuate materialism. In fact, Christmas has mainly become a retail-driven holiday disguised as a religious holiday to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.

Even as I did my research this year in an attempt to have a discussion about Christmas with my family on Christmas morning about the "reason for the season," to celebrate the spirit of giving, and to celebrate the life of Christ I was disappointed to find that at least 2/3 of the holiday isn't even rooted in Christianity.

Most of the rituals that we go through during Christmas (i.e. Decorating trees, mistletoe, gift giving etc.) were taken directly from the Roman week-long pagan Saturnalia festival that culminated on December 25th before Christianity became the religion of the day. The holy day (or holiday) was designed to honor the pagan god Saturn, the god of agriculture and harvest.

In memory of the Golden Age of man, a mythical age when Saturn was said to have ruled, a great feast called Saturnalia was held during the winter months around the time of the winter solstice. It was originally only one day long, taking place on December 17, but later lasted one week. It wasn't until 325 A.D. that Emperor Constantine made Christianity the official religion of the Roman Empire and designated December 25th the date of Jesus' birth. The Saturnalia festival was to continue but was the honor Christ instead of Saturn. Some report that he named the new holiday Christ's Mass which was later known as Christmas. But I digress...

Regardless of the technical origin of the holiday I wanted to take the materialism out of it this year and really just bond with my family. I wanted to take the pressure off of my family to feel obligated to buy me expensive gifts just because the holiday dictates that we do so.

What really got me in the mood to try to make the holiday more meaningful this year was being out and about and hearing parents worry out loud about whether or not their children would be pleased with what they got them. Would the child be upset if they got them an XBox because the Nintendo Wiis were sold out? Would they mind if they got them an 8 Gig iPod Touch instead of the 32 Gig...

How did we create such a monster of a holiday? How did we let mythical pagan figures such as Santa Clause, whom is supposed to represent the spirit of giving, ultimately turn the holiday into the season of getting--with children having no clear concept of what Christmas is supposed to represent?

Realize that I only make such harsh observations of the holiday because I have been a victim of it...

As a child December was the month that became synonymous with the question:

"What do you want Santa to bring you this year?"

I remember waking up on Christmas mornings and finding mountains of gifts and toys under the Christmas tree from the list of things that I requested Santa to bring me. I never thought about reciprocating the kindness to him or to others except for a cup of milk and couple of Oreo cookies.

The danger of this exchange was that as I got older, I began to expect extravagant toys because Santa would bring them whether or not I had been good that particular year. After all, I got my Nintendo system last year even though I had gotten into a fist fight with Dennis down the street a few days before Christmas. I'll just leave Santa a few cookies and he'll leave me lots of presents.

When I as in the 7th grade, I was the son of a single parent with an older brother and sister. Although I did not believe in Santa Clause at this point, I continued the facade because I didn't have the heart to tell my mother... and perhaps because I selfishly felt that if I told her that maybe I wouldn't receive as much.

That particular year what I specifically wanted was a particular pair of black Nike high tops. I told my mom that I wanted them, but downplayed it because I knew that money was tight. When Christmas day came and I found myself opening a box of all black low-top suede Champion shoes, I was visibly upset and single-handedly ruined the mood of a day that was supposed to be about the joy of giving. All she really wanted to get out of that day was to see her children smile. The pain on my mother's face that day is something that I will always remember. I felt small...like an ingrate--and rightfully so.

The myth of Santa Clause, I think, to some degree creates a selfish reasoning in children that negatively affects their outlook on life. Whether children are "naughty or nice" they will probably get the things that they want for Christmas. If they do not get what they want they will likely have a selfish contempt for whomever was responsible for the oversight--for not feeding their desires.

Sometimes I wonder how I will treat Christmas when I have a family. I definitely want them to experience the joy of getting, but I want them to have an even deeper appreciation for the joy of giving and making someone else's life a little better.

Will Santa play a pivotal role in my kids' lives? I am not certain that he will. But I do know that I never want my children to have a sense of entitlement like I developed when I was young--an entitlement that seems to pervade the minds of children, and adults, in our culture.

Most Slept On Artist of 2008: Esperanza Spalding

2008-12-24T00:31:00.004-05:00

First off, let me apologize for not posting in almost two months. I've had a severe case of writer's block. Shout out to Carah for encouraging me to get back on here.

If anybody out there is still reading, I'd like to put you up on one of the best new artists I've heard in a long time. Her name is Esperanza Spalding.

This talented sister is from the "ghettos of Portland, Oregon" and plays bass and sings jazz simultaneously. She's 24 and actually became a professor of music at the Berklee College of Music at 23. She has opened for acts such as The Roots and Talib Kweli, has been featured on Good Morning America and Jimmy Kimmel Live, and currently has two CDs out in stores.

Incredible.

"If He Wins I'm Afraid...The Blacks Will Take Over"

2008-10-16T18:40:00.000-05:00

New Obama Ad...WOW!

2008-09-27T22:40:00.000-05:00

How NOT To Answer A Question...

2008-09-21T10:22:00.003-05:00

...right after you beat a child pornography case.

This guy is sick and should have been locked up a long time ago.

Enough! Here's Why The Polls Are So Damn Close!

2008-09-17T23:06:00.002-05:00

by Bob Cesca

Today's edition of Morning Joe on MSNBC was especially ridiculous. And Pat Buchanan wasn't even there, which meant that everyone else had to overcompensate to make up for the conspicuous absence of awful.

Back story: Senator Obama released a two-minute commercial about the economic crisis -- also known as "the worst financial crisis in a century," according Alan Greenspan and Mort Zuckerman. It's a smart, effective ad that serves two purposes: it outlines what Obama plans to do about the crisis, and it continues to hammer home Senator Obama as a tough yet presidential would-be chief executive and steward of the economy.

Yet despite the seriousness of this crisis, Joe Scarborough (along with Wee Willie Geist and Salon's Joan Walsh, oddly enough) mocked the ad for its lack of soundbytes and its abundance of specifics.

Lack. Of soundbytes.

Now there's an argument to be made in favor of short, pithy framing in politics, but this isn't a short, pithy crisis. It's a crisis that's nailing ordinary Americans quite literally in their own back yards. It's entirely symptomatic of 30 years of Republican deregulation and Reaganomics. 30 years of free market wingnut crapola culminating in something close to the Great Depression, with Senator McCain quoting Herbert Hoover dozens of times this year alone -- and, what? A two minute commercial is too long, Joe? Are you so basted in savory McCain barbecue sauce, Joe, that your candidate's cluelessness has, by some form of dry rub osmosis, infected your already shovel-shaped view of this global disaster?

Soundbytes and nonspecifics. Yessir. That's just what (and I repeat) the worst financial crisis in a century deserves. Soundbytes and nonspecifics like, "The fundamentals of the economy are strong." Heckuva job. Your candidate is a total doof when it comes to the economy, Joe. Admit it.

So then, with the addition of Newsweek's very serious Jon Meacham, the very serious conversation evolved into concern-trolling about the polls. Why, Scarborough wondered, is Senator Obama not way ahead of McCain in the polls? Why is the race so tight?

Hmm. I can't imagine why that is. It's not like Senator Obama's patriotism and character is being assassinated for three hours every morning on cable news -- six hours if we include the spasmodic howler monkeys on FOX & Friends. I can't imagine why the polls are so close when Joe Scarborough is helping his Republican allies to once again turn this critical national debate into another blind recitation of Lee Greenwood lyrics.

Why are the polls so close? Not only do around 25 percent of Americans watch FOX News Channel on a regular basis, but, from coast to coast, there are more than a thousand far-right talk radio stations occupied by shows that make Morning Joe sound like an Olbermann Special Comment. And 17 percent of Americans are glued to it at work and in their cars. Talkers like Hugh Hewitt, Sean Hannity, John Gibson, Rush Limbaugh, Michael Medved, Bill Bennett and Glenn Beck broadcast on your public air around the clock. Non-stop. Unrelenting. Only interrupted by Accu-weather and traffic. Free to anyone with an AM radio.

I don't know if you've dared to listen to far-right talk radio lately, but I can assure you that they're not ignoring Senator Obama -- or his family. Put it this way: if you only got your news and opinions from talk radio, you'd probably believe that Senator Obama is some kind of foreign-born baby-killing Manchurian Candidate terrorist -- if not a sexist uppity black man who, if he loses in November, will incite race riots in every city.

Last night, Keith Olbermann reported that convicted Watergate burglar and radio talk show host G. Gordon Liddy continues to insist that Senator Obama was born in Kenya and that his birth certificate is a forgery. Lies. Debunked months ago by numerous nonpartisan experts.

Sean Hannity continues to beat the Reverend Wright and William Ayers drums every chance he gets while making wild claims that Senator Obama is an anti-white bigot.

Alleged sex-tourist Rush Limbaugh, whose show is carried in almost every American city, is routinely accusing Senator Obama of infanticide and referring to him as a "little black man-child," clearly stopping short of blurting out the name "Sambo," thus indicating that the drugs seem to have left intact a shred of discretion in Limbaugh's otherwise melty cheese brain.

And that's just three of the more popular hosts out of hundreds more. There's Mike Gallagher, Lars Larson, Laura Ingraham, Monica Crowley, Mike Savage, Dennis Prager, Neil Boortz, Bill Hussein Cunningham -- the list goes on and on. Nothing is out of bounds. Devoid of shame and accountability. Inventing its own stories and spreading lies in soundbyte chunks easily passed along via listeners to non-listener friends and family.

We too-often overlook the influence of far-right talk radio given the overproduced, groomed-monkeys on far-right cable news shows. So radio talkers too often operate with impunity and a dangerous lack of watchdogging despite their market saturation -- their menacing ubiquity. Consequently, concern-trolls like Joe Scarborough and Jon Meacham can go on television and thump their chests -- questioning why-God-why have the Democrats only won three of the last ten presidential elections?! What's wrong with these foreign-sounding, smarty-pants Democrats who, as Meacham mentioned today, are incapable of "speaking American."

Could it be -- I don't know, just a hunch -- that the opinions of perhaps a third of all Americans are shaped by FOX News Channel, cable news shows like Morning Joe and, especially, far-right talk radio? Could it be that the lies and blind-patriotism of these far-right propagandists are painting an historic, brilliant, accomplished, patriotic presidential candidate as some kind of Bin Laden meets Farrakhan chimera? 24 hours a day? In every town in the Union? Distracting Americans from this economic crisis and skewing their priorities -- making pocketbook issues seem less important than bullshit lies. And political hacks still wonder why half of Americans vote against their financial interests every two years. Joe Scarborough still wonders out loud why Senator Obama isn't 20 points ahead in the polls.

Riddle me this, Joe. Given the ideological landscape of cable news, talk radio and the nefarious lie-based caricature therein of Obama as a black-power, fetus-crushing Muslim terrorist, why isn't John McCain 20 points ahead in polls?

Matt Damon On Palin: "Really Bad Disney Movie..."

2008-09-10T10:59:00.001-05:00

Bernie Mac's New Movie Trailer

2008-09-09T10:21:00.001-05:00

Sarah Palin: "So Sambo Beat The Bitch..."

2008-09-06T11:51:00.019-05:00

I got to give it to the GOP. They really shook up the race to the White House by adding Sarah Palin to the mix: a self-proclaimed "pitbull" with "lipstick" that is effective at playing the junkyard dog with a smile. Ever since her speech at the RNC Convention she has been serving up vitriol and throwing low-blows at the Obama campaign without receiving much retaliation. I was always told that if a dog bites you, you are supposed to ram your fist down its throat so that it knows to never bite you again.

The problem that the Obama campaign is having, however, is that they are afraid that they will get tagged as sexist if they attack her and may lose a significant chunk of the female vote--namely those that were Hillary Clinton supporters and are on the fence.

No doubt, there are a TON of credible stories out there that the Obama campaign could attack Palin with and destroy her credibility, but as of yet, they have failed to do so. They seem to be taking a "wait and see" approach to see if she destroys herself. The problem with this logic is that the uninformed American public (which is ironically the biggest voting block) has a short attention span and whatever they hear the most is the truth, whether it is really the truth or not. John Kerry tried to take the same approach in 2004 during the Swiftboat debacle, and look at how effective that strategy turned out.

They are going to have to take a chance and just pound this chick and the RNC with their own hypocrisy, as seen in the John Stewart post below.

Even more damning, however, is a recent article that highlights Palin's racist and vindictive personality.

According to a reporter at laprogressive.com who went to Wasilla, AK to research Palin, he found evidence that she is "racist, sexist, vindictive and mean." The most shocking allegation is that during a dinner with political colleagues, Palin is quoted as saying "So Sambo beat the bitch!" while a discussion was taking place about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton's heated primary race.

Here is an excerpt of the article...

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by Charley James

“So Sambo beat the bitch!”

This is how Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin described Barack Obama’s win over Hillary Clinton to political colleagues in a restaurant a few days after Obama locked up the Democratic Party presidential nomination.

According to Lucille, the waitress serving her table at the time and who asked that her last name not be used, Gov. Palin was eating lunch with five or six people when the subject of the Democrat’s primary battle came up. The governor, seemingly not caring that people at nearby tables would likely hear her, uttered the slur and then laughed loudly as her meal mates joined in appreciatively.

“It was kind of disgusting,” Lucille, who is part Aboriginal, said in a phone interview after admitting that she is frightened of being discovered telling folks in the “lower 48” about life near the North Pole.

Then, almost with a sigh, she added, “But that’s just Alaska.”

Racial and ethnic slurs may be “just Alaska” and, clearly, they are common, everyday chatter for Palin.

Besides insulting Obama with a Step-N’-Fetch-It, “darkie musical” swipe, people who know her say she refers regularly to Alaska’s Aboriginal people as “Arctic Arabs” – how efficient, lumping two apparently undesirable groups into one ugly description – as well as the more colourful “mukluks” along with the totally unimaginative “f**king Eskimo’s,” according to a number of Alaskans and Wasillians interviewed for this article...

Source: LA Progressive

------------------------------------------------

If Obama wants to win, he's going to have to take off the kid gloves and whoop some ass.

Jon Stewart Should Be One Of Obama's Advisors

2008-09-05T21:16:00.003-05:00

Why is the Obama campaign not using these obvious points in their campaign ads??? Cut the "high road" shit and call these folks out with their own hypocrisy--in their own words, no less! Dems...get some balls and actually try to win this election.

Sour Grapes: Hillary's Supporters and Identity Politics

2008-08-26T00:27:00.006-05:00

In watching this video it is clear that the majority of Hillary's supporters don't have a clear reason as to why they refuse to get behind Barack Obama's run for the White House. Let's face it, folks: the numbers just didn't add up. Hillary Clinton ran a hard-fought campaign, but she lost.

Let's go through a couple of the arguments that Hillary's most ardent supporters use to justify their refusal to get behind Obama and directly, or indirectly, support John McCain.

The first argument that I hear most often is that Hillary was disrespected by the media who gave Obama a free pass. Well up until Super Tuesday, Hillary was billed by her campaign, as well as the media, as the "inevitable" candidate. After Obama won the first contest in Iowa, that inevitable perception was tarnished which put the Clinton campaign on the defensive. This created a negative storyline that dominated the news cycle up until Super Tuesday. When you lose the media will pounce on you...period.

The Clinton campaign assumed that she would still win the primaries on Super Tuesday and, thus, failed to retool the campaign in time to stop Obama's momentum. Obama won 13 straight contests and that pretty much sealed the deal. From there SHE became disrespectful towards Obama and rolled out her "kitchen sink" strategy (which he is still battling today). The point here is that she didn't have a Plan B and had to go extremely negative. She even admitted this fact recently when her campaign memos were released a couple weeks ago, highlighting an unorganized campaign plagued by the wrong message in a "change"-driven election year.

The next reason given by angry Clinton supporters for not supporting Obama is that he doesn't have experience. The flaw in this argument is that there have been plenty of unsuccessful Presidents with a wealth of experience and there have been unexperienced Presidents that have had wildly successful terms. Bill Clinton had no Washington experience but had two successful terms. Ronald Reagan was a Hollywood actor and is praised by Republicans as the greatest President ever. Dick Cheney has been in Washington for decades and look at where we are (...yes, Dick Cheney is the President).

Also, what direct experience has Hillary had that trumps Obama's? She was the first lady, but so was Barbara Bush. She has one term on him in the Senate, but her experience pales in comparison to Bill Richardson's, Joe Biden's, Dennis Kucinich's, Mike Gravel's and Chris Dodd's, all of whom ran against both Hillary and Barack in the primaries. If experience is the issue, why was there no support or outcry by these die-hards for those experience-heavy candidates that lost in the primaries?

The list goes on-and-on.

The real reason I suspect that these folks won't vote for Obama is identity politics. The fact is that the majority of Hillary's supporters that refuse to support Obama are middle-aged to older White women who take it personally that their candidate lost. These are women who never thought that they would have the opportunity to see a woman President, and in many ways they vicariously feel like they, themselves, lost.

Notice that even though Barack and Hillary are almost identical on their major policy positions, neither of these guys in the video acknowledge that. Issues don't seem to matter. It's all about identity and we are all guilty of it.

I can understand their position, as I'm sure that if the shoe were on the other foot, Black folks would be very reluctant to vote for Hillary in the aftermath of such a close race. There's no doubt that many of us would feel that the election was rigged and that "they just didn't want to see a Black man become President."

Unfortunately, somebody had to lose. Clinton just happened to be outflanked by an extremely organized and innovative campaign with the right message at the right time.

When are we going to get past divisions and stand together to vote in our best interest?

This Is My Sh** Right Now

2008-08-23T20:33:00.003-05:00

This is Paper Planes by Brit artist M.I.A. The song is mad catchy (especially the hook) and comes from the Pineapple Express soundtrack. Yesterday I heard the remix with Jim Jones, and today I heard a new track by T.I. featuring Jay-Z, Kanye, and Wayne called Swagger Like Us that uses a vocal sample from this song. She also has some cuts produced by Timbaland.

Hmm... a British artist that is hip-hop-influenced and is being embraced by hip-hop heavyweights. Are we looking at the next Amy Winehouse? For her sake, I hope not.

Strictly for My Ladies: I'm So OVAH It. I'm Grown.

2008-08-20T22:34:00.003-05:00

By Carah L. Herring
clbherring@gmail.com

*** Disclaimer: You might not be able to relate to this until you’re at least 24, but hey, feel free to read on anyway***

Ladies, have you begun going through ‘the change’?

Of course, we're too young to be menopausal. No hot flashes or mood swings here, babe (well, aside from the ill-tempered ‘tudes that comes out as PMS or circumstances dictate). Yet you’re not alone if it feels like your entire being is evolving; as you make the transition from a young woman into a bona fide adult.

Your 20s have probably been an emotional roller coaster, with the highs reaching Mt. Everest and the lows being nothing short of rock bottom. In other words, the Quarter Life Crisis was in full-swing. From missing college after graduating, to embarking on a frustrating job search, breaking the collegiate mentality and learning the ‘image is everything’ game of office politics, falling out with a few old friends, attempting to make new friends, and dealing with the huge life-changing steps from currents friends and associates (marriage, children, relocation, grad school)... it's been a ride we'll never forget. And it ain't over!

Throughout everything life has thrown at me – the good and the bad – I’ve learned that the keys to surviving and thriving are to never ever give up on your dream(s), have supportive, yet frank associates/mentors/ friends who are more successful and established than you, and to have a strong faith in God. That’s the only way to come out of your Quarter Life Crisis unscathed. Okay, that sounded so ‘after-school-special’-esque, but it’s the truth!

Aiight, so back to ‘the change.’

As I approach 25, I’m starting to be on some new shit. I’m switching up my style on so many levels – where I go, what I consider fun, my outlook on dating and my priorities, among other things.

What do we call this phenomena? G.A.W. Mode . Grown Ass Woman Mode .

It may not hit you at 25. Maybe earlier. Maybe later. But it’s inevitable. You’ll get to a point where the “same ol’, same ol’” habits that you’ve established throughout life thus far just don’t work anymore. There are some behaviors and routines that you now look at, shaking your head with the ‘stank face,’ like: “I’m so OVAH it.”

Ladies in G.A.W. Mode can probably feel me on the following:

Grown Ass Women are so OVAH… the club. This is not to say we’ll never do the club again, but it gets so predictable after while. It’s the same people, the same music (the chart-topper set, the reggae set, the NYC set, the ATL down south-get crunk-she gotta donk set, the go-go set, the old school set – which wouldn’t be complete without Maze f/ Frankie Beverly’s Before I let go, and >depending on your area< the House music set), the same overpriced drinks, the same camera guy taking pics for the same website… just different outfits and possibly a different venue. It gets old. So why be so pressed every weekend? Perhaps every other weekend ;o) I’m so lovin’ lounges, house parties and cook-outs, instead. They’re more personable, and add a little variety to the tried-and-true-but-waaaay-overdone typical social options.

And since, we’re on the club:

Grown Ass Women are so OVAH… droppin’ it like it’s hot. No, I’m not going to groan about getting old and only being able to drop it like it’s lukewarm. Trust, I can still get it (and I hope you can, too!), but I probably have to be inebriated or out of town. On the dance floor as a G.A.W, the two-step usually reigns. And don’t even think about putting your crotch near my bon-bon unless I know you like that or there’s some pre-established chemistry. Ew! Wow – a totally different tune from our college days. Lol.

Grown Ass Women are so OVAH… the whole drink whore thing. Saving $5 to $10 on a drink by banking on someone else shelling out the cash isn’t worth having that worrisome ass guy following you around the bar or the club all night. I’d rather foot the tab myself and have peace of mind. It’s okay to accept free drinks, but it’s not worth being on the prowl for them. If it happens, it happens. If not, no sweat. G.A.W.s can even flip the script, and offer to buy the guy a drink. It totally catches them off guard…

Grown Ass Women are so OVAH… friends with benefits. Well, in theory. We’re torn . We like the closeness, the intimacy and the >cough< head, especially following a stressful day at work, a week from hell, or hearing Chris Brown’s “Take you down” for the 22nd time on the radio – and you feel ready to jump somebody’s bones. Yet we know how the situation normally plays out (Please take a looksie at my previous piece, Strictly for My Ladies: Friends w/ Benefits – Can it REALLY work? if you haven’t already). Sometimes the short-term benefits outweigh the guaranteed long-term harsh realities. And other times, the benefits don’t outweigh the drawbacks, but we do it anyway… and are grown enough not to fault anybody but ourselves when our emotions start going berserk.

Grown Ass Women are so OVAH… a certain caliber of men. It varies. Trap boys are FUN – especially when there’s cash to blow. They don’t give a damn and they have no fear. Older men are an amusing adventure, too. It’s a definite ego boost to be the ‘PYT’ or ‘trophy’ – getting lots of attention and boukou freebies. Yet, as we approach our 30s, degrees, stability and social appropriateness seem to be more attractive. Even sexy. Med school? Love it! No kids? Let’s get married tomorrow! We’re talking long-term now. We don’t want someone that we love behind closed doors, yet can’t take out in public (work functions, reunions, church, social events).

Grown Ass Women are so OVAH… retail therapy. Okay, let me explain this one before I toally lose all my credibility. Lol. Who doesn’t love a new outfit? But honestly, our closets are packed; bursting at the seams. Instead of running to the mall every weekend, spending my hard-earned income, blowing my budget on items that will be out of style by next season, I now try to run to one of the following with the same intensity:
• to the gym to exercise
• to the bookshelf to read the oodles of paperbacks I’ve been meaning to tackle
• to the phone to catch up with friends I may not speak with that often
• to the DVD player to check out my newest Netflix pick

I still love to shop, but I’m woman enough to possess the self-control of balling on a budget.

Grown Ass Women are so OVAH… some aspects of hip-hop. I love hip-hop – I grew up with it, so I’m not going to turn my back on it now. But baby, I have to be in the right mood for ‘Marco Polo,’ ‘Get Silly’ or anything by Yung Berg, Plies, Ray J and Souljah Boy. I don’t always want to hear about a chick’s fat ass, skills on the stripper pole or how much money you supposedly have to blow. You need to meet with a financial planner and invest that shit anyway . Give me Jazmine Sullivan, Estelle, Teedra Moses, Ledisi or Kanye instead. Something with substance. While, you're at it, throw in some jazz, smooth r&b, pop and >cringe< easy listening . Don't front, you listen to it at work, too! Phil Collins for life! Lol.

*************************************************************
I’m not the official spokesperson for the Grown Ass Women of America. Hell, I’m not quite an official GAW myself...yet. I haven’t fully arrived, but I'm definitely not the same person I was last year, or even 6 months ago! But as I go through 'the change,' I just thought somebody out here could feel me. Please list some of your GAW Mode changes below in the comment section, if you’d like.

If you still hit up the club every weekend, that’s fine. If Plies is your favorite musical artist, hey, I’m not looking down on you. It’s all a process. It’s all a journey. Enjoy where you are, but continue moving forward. Don't get stuck, because we've still got a whole lot of road to cover... and a whole lot of drinks to buy (on our own!) as we reflect upon the trip thus far and look to the horizon for what lies ahead.

XOXO,
Carah

Bernie Mac's Final Hour

2008-08-11T09:40:00.003-05:00

The following article comes from People Magazine

------------------------------------

Bernie Mac’s wife and daughter were with him until the very end, says the late comic's sister-in-law in a personal and touching interview with PEOPLE that took place Saturday.

Speaking of a heartbreaking moment between her younger sister, Rhonda, and the 50-year-old actor-comedian – who succumbed to complications from pneumonia in a Chicago hospital at 2 a.m. Saturday – Mary Ann Grossett says that the night before Mac died, "He struggled for his life. He couldn't breathe.

"He opened his eyes on his own and looked at Rhonda. She called his name, and he opened his eyes and nodded to her. She smiled at him and told him, 'Don't leave me … 'I'm waiting for you to come back.' He shrugged his shoulders, and she said that's when she knew he was tired. He signaled to her that his body was tired."

Mac suffered from sarcoidosis, an inflammatory lung disease that produces tiny lumps of cells in the body's organs, but had said the condition went into remission in 2005. He recently was hospitalized and treated for pneumonia, which his publicist said was not related to the disease.

Mac's family had expected him to fully recover from the bout of pneumonia that put him in a hospital three weeks ago, his daughter said Sunday. However, Je'niece Childress said that as time passed she and her mother braced for the possibility that he could die.

Childress said Mac had been at Northwestern Memorial Hospital since the middle of July.

"Initially when he was hospitalized we expected him to come back home, but as the weeks went on, I kind of knew," Childress told The Associated Press.
Mac, born Bernard Jeffrey McCullough in Chicago, got his start doing standup as a child. His successful career included his own Fox television series, "The Bernie Mac Show" and starring roles in "Ocean's Eleven," "Bad Santa," "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" and "Transformers."

Childress said Mac, who maintained a home in the south Chicago suburb of Frankfort, was a loving father, husband and grandfather. Childress, 30, is his only child, and has a 1-year-old daughter. She said her mother, Rhonda McCullough, and Mac were married for 32 years.

"He was a hard man and he made no apologies for that," Childress said. "When it came to me and my mother and my daughter he was the softest."

Recently, Mac's brand of comedy caught him some flack when he joked about menopause, sexual infidelity and promiscuity at a July fundraiser for Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama. Obama's campaign later said the jokes were "inappropriate."
"I kind of figured he was going to get a lot of backlash," Childress said. "Telling that joke at that time probably wasn't the best idea, but that's him."
Children said there was always laughter in their home.

"Because that's just who he was," Childress said. "I'm sad that my daughter will never know or be able to feel how much he loved her."

"I think he will always be remembered as one of the original kings of comedy," Childress said. "I think what made him so special to people was that even though he was a celebrity he just seemed so down to earth and so much like a part of your family."

She said funeral arrangements were pending. Smith said a public memorial would be held next weekend at House of Hope in Chicago.

The Blueprint 3's On The Way...

2008-08-07T23:52:00.001-05:00

New Raphael Saadiq

2008-08-06T05:01:00.002-05:00

The song is entitled "100 Yard Dash" from his forthcoming 60's-inspired album, The Way I See It.

J.B. Smoove

2008-08-01T08:31:00.002-05:00

JB Smoove is hilarious. He's a protege of Chris Rock and Wanda Sykes and did a lot of writing for the Chris Rock Show when it was on HBO. He currently appears on HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm as one of the members of "The Blacks." Funny dude.

Who's Gonna Save My Soul?

2008-07-29T08:33:00.002-05:00

New Gnarls Barkley video. You'll probably never see this on TV.

Strictly for My Ladies: Friends w/ Benefits – Can it REALLY work?

2008-07-24T20:11:00.002-05:00

by Carah Herring

In January of this year, I sounded the battle cry for young ladies around the nation to "Snatch the Cat Back" (If you haven't read it yet, check out my very first piece, entitled "Strictly for My Ladies: Why He Probably Won't Commit" before continuing with this article).

"Women, listen closely: We have a lot more control with men than we think we do,” I shared fervently. “So make him WAIT. Make him WORK FOR IT. Make him EARN IT. Go OUT ON DATES (clarification: a 'date' is not watching DVDs at his crib every other night). Challenge him to get to know you as an individual outside the bedroom first – your likes, dislikes, hobbies, quirks, dreams and aspirations."

Well, fast-forward six months later. Summertime is here, ‘skin’ is ‘in’ and sexy muscles are being displayed on the regular. Yum. Let’s just cut the crap and face it: After agreeing so hard and devoting ourselves to snatching the cat back, that damn cat has more than likely been released. >sheepish laugh< I mean, some of us threw that thang with a vengeance! Lol.

This reality leads us to our next topic in the ever-eventful adventures in relationships – or rather, relations: Friends with benefits.

Let me tell you a little bedtime story. Maybe you can relate:

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, a twentysomething girl and guy met randomly. They immediately dug each other – looks, conversation, style, etc. They hung out a couple times and the chemistry was undoubtedly there . They had a ball, truly enjoying each other’s company… and they eventually got intimate. A few weeks later, you name it, they’d done it: on the kitchen table, in the shower, in the park, on/in the car, at work (that was a joke, but if this applies to you, your ass is bold!).

It was the perfect situation – they were having harmless fun. They could still chat and kick it with other friends of the opposite sex without feeling guilty or on 'lockdown' because they were friends with benefits .

But then, the inevitable happened (dun, dun, DUN): The woman caught feelings. HARD. However, the guy was not trying to hear any type of relationship talk because he said from the start that he wasn't interested in being tied down right now (which the woman had agreed to in the beginning).

They continued to hump, but things started changing. The woman started becoming too clingy. Indeed, since they had been intimate on the regular for so long, the woman began to desire a smooth transition from her current romping partner status into the wifey/girlfriend role. She found herself getting perturbed and downright pissed when he didn't call her every night. And sometimes, following a ‘sneaking suspicion,’ she even tried hacking into his voicemail, e-mail, Facebook or MySpace (and that was soooo not even her nature!). When they chilled at each other's homes, she would slip into the bathroom with his cell phone, looking for numbers or text messages from other women a.k.a. competition. (And Lawd knows, when you look for trouble, you find it…)

The woman was definitely acting more and more 'weird' with the guy now. It became obvious that she was not as carefree as when they first starting hooking up a couple weeks/months ago. So the guy slowly distanced himself from her – which made the woman even more frustrated.

In the meantime, the guy randomly met another girl, who was 20 times more fun to be around. He and the new girl started talking, and he regularly took the new girl out on dates . When the original girl (let's call her 'OG' to keep things simple) caught wind of this, she became absolutely FURIOUS. In OG's mind, this new girl didn't have shit on her in regards to looks, personality or freakiness. WTF was up with that ?!

OG was devastated, to say the least. After she had invested all this time in this guy, opening all the way up to him on so many levels, she got what in return? A broken heart. And nothing's worse than feeling unduly rejected and horny. Sheesh.

OG continued to hump the guy out of desperation, because she knew that at least when they had sex, she could spend quality time with him. And even if the QT was just 2 or 3 hours, it was 2 to 3 fabulous hours where she felt (or pretended) like they were actually in a relationship. OG knew she needed to let go, but she couldn't. He was like a drug. She loved his companionship (well, what little she got)... and hey, everyone wants someone to cuddle with from time to time, right?

The sex was becoming horrible because the guy wasn't really attracted to OG as much. He was attracted to the new girl waaaay more and even thought about the new girl while he had sex with OG.

Soon, the guy stopped picking up OG’s phone calls, and saying that he was always "busy." Those text messages she sent? He claimed he didn't receive them (and what's the likelihood of that shit?). Even when OG wanted to hang out, the guy always came up with excuses, because OG was such a grump now. The only time he called her was late at night, when he was fienin’ and his new girl wasn't available.

OG finally saw the writing on the wall, and got fed up. She swore never to talk to the guy again. Why should she? While she was his plaything, this new b*tch was getting all the girlfriend-esque benefits that the OG desired (but never articulated) -- dates, dinners, movies, concerts, weekends at the beach, etc. And what did OG get out of all of this? Some mediocre d*ck, some wine and a whole lot of SportsCenter .

The end.

But it wasn't really the end. OG was still horny and now she was slightly depressed. One day, she randomly met a new guy that she clicked with. She promised herself that she would hold out and not give it up so soon. She promised herself that she'd never do the ‘friends with benefits’ situation again, knowing firsthand the potential consequences. Yet one evening after a late night movie, she and the new guy had sex. He told her up front that he didn't want a relationship; he just wanted to ‘have fun.’ This was a big ‘no-no’ in OG’s book. But damn, he was hot, oh-so-sexy and irresistable. Sigh. .. so they became friends with benefits... and the cycle continued.

The end (for real this time).

***************************************************

Do you truly just want sex or are you trying to hump your way into a relationship?

Some of us think we can handle the ‘friends with benefits’ set up, throwing around phrases like ‘I’m just doing me,’ ‘I’m having fun – I’m single,’ or ‘we have an understanding.’ And there’s no doubt that it sometimes it feels wonderful to be laid up with somebody (he may not be Mr. Right, but he’s the TRUTH as Mr. Right Now). But a lot of times, we can’t handle a friend with benefits. The temporary fulfillment is almost always depleted over time by the gnawing emptiness of reality.

Why do we continue to do this to ourselves when we already know how the story ends? Scratch that: it doesn’t end. It just repeats itself with a different co-star.

So ladies, Snatch the Cat back... or release that little rascal and let it do what it do. Hell, you’re grown. Just remember OG and the bedtime story. Then ask yourself it it’s worth the time, energy and emotion. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. The choice is yours.

With love,

Carah

P.S. When it comes to relationships and our dealings with men romantically, we pretty much know what to do, but the difficult part is actually doing it. I am by no means touting myself as Miss Perfect, Miss Know-It-All, Mother Love or Dr. Phil when it comes to relationships, because in some cases, I struggle to heed my own advice! But at least by dialoguing, if and when we are in the wrong, we will know better and not act like clueless victims.

Tony Roberts Stand-up

2008-07-22T01:25:00.001-05:00

Hilarious! Contains a lot of swearing, though.

On My Radar: Jazmine Sullivan

2008-07-16T17:04:00.005-05:00

Looks like there's some new R&B blood out there. Jazmine Sullivan seems like she's aiming to be the next Lauryn Hill with her vocals and production. She is currently signed to J Records and her album is due out later this summer and will feature heavy hitters like Missy Elliot, Justin Timberlake, Timbaland, Rich Boy, Cool & Dre and John Legend among others.

Not sure how she stayed under the radar for so long, but if this song is any indication her album is gonna be sick!

If she wants to be successful in this game all she has to do is keep making great music, stay humble and not f*** around with any of Bob Marley's sons. Next thing you know she'll be in Madagascar with eight kids singing "woe is me" in front of a crowd of 43 natives while sporting a bad make-up job. Damn those Marleys.

Hat tip to Rell for the heads up.

Saddest Song Of All Time

2008-07-15T23:14:00.000-05:00

This song was voted one of the Top 25 Saddest Songs of All Time by Spinner Magazine & I agree. It's about a man returning home to see his mother after many years only to discover that she is becoming senile and doesn't remember him.

The artist is a blues singer by the name of Marc Anthony Thompson a.k.a. Chocolate Genius.

Jesse's Getting Lazy

2008-07-11T22:23:00.001-05:00

Jesse Jackson is being blasted in the media for comments that he made about Barack Obama before doing an interview for Fox News. While Jesse thought the microphone was off he was caught whispering that he wanted to cut Obama's nuts off for "talking down to black people."

I don't want to get into the political and social implications of the statement (i.e. whether it will help or hurt Obama, whether it will diminish Jackson's legacy, how the Black community will react, etc.)

Rather, I want to talk about the fact that Jesse is getting lazy with the rhymes. The Jesse Jackson of yesterday would have surely come up with a more clever way to say that he wanted to cut off Obama's nuts.

I will, however, give him points on style. Notice in the clip how he slightly bites his lip and makes a quick downward snap with his right arm to express how fast and easily he would de-ball Obama if given the opportunity.

Jesse is a legend. He has always been an eloquent speaker and was a master of coming up with catchy slogans and phrases to emphasize his points. With that, I'd like to offer some suggestions that we may have gotten from the Jesse of old:

"If Obama don't stop running his jaws, I'm going to cut off his balls"
*quick downward arm snap*

"If Obama talks down to Blacks again, I'm going to cut off his lit-tle friends"
*quick downward arm snap*

"If Obama talks to me like I'm a little boy, I'm going to cut off his sacks of joy"
*quick downward arm snap*

*If Obama keeps talking to us funny, I'm going to rip off his botox bunnies"
*quick downward arm snap*

"If Obama talks to us like fools, I'm going to cut off his family jewels"
*quick downward arm snap*

Of course, I'm no pro at this...obviously. These are merely suggestions. If you can do better, then by all means...

I know age diminishes wit and sharpness, but I miss the old Jesse. I miss the "Keep Hope Alive"-Jesse. The Green Eggs and Ham-Jesse...

Worst Song Ev-er!

2008-07-10T08:36:00.007-05:00

Look... I'm all about people pursuing their dreams and not giving up on them, but sometimes there's just no realistic chance that you'll make that dream come true.

...Enter Young Spuset, an up-and-(not)-coming Rap/R&B group that have shopped their demo around to record companies hoping to get their big break. This group has managed to put together one of the worst records I've ever heard in my 26 years of life.

Off beat rhymes, terrible harmonies and bad execution. Everything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong. Above all, the singing is probably some of the worst I've ever heard leave a human's lips.

What sucks even more than this just being a bad record overall is that you can tell that the guy doing the hook is putting his heart and soul into it, on some Randy Watson s***.

Anyways, click the link and check out 'Let's Stay Together.' I'll be amazed if you make it through the whole track. Good luck.

Sexual Chocolate.

Ding Dong, Jesse's Dead

2008-07-08T00:03:00.008-05:00

I was always taught to not speak ill of the dead, and it seems that that is the norm in our society. Often times when people die their obits point out their positives, disregard their negatives, and in many cases, flat out lie to make their lives seem more noble than they actually were. This is definitely the case with Jesse Helms, as media outlets downplay his true legacy of Old Southern-style racism in the wake of his death.

Helms, the senator from North Carolina, died on July 4. He served for 5 terms as North Carolina's senator for over 30 years until he retired in 2003. Given his well-known reputation as a bigot, you'll be hard pressed to find anyone who openly admits to voting for him, but his support from those voters of the Old South kept him in Washington for many years, proving that old ways die hard.

The above clip is one of Helms' most famous acts of race-baiting on the campaign trail. In 1990, black Democrat Harvey Gantt challenged Helms' Senate seat and built a healthy lead in the polls leading up to election day. After the infamous "White Hands" ad, the polls shifted and Helms won convincingly.

Even in death, I have no respect for this man. With the possible exception of Strom Thurmond, Helms is easily the most racist and divisive figure in modern American politics. In addition to being the only senator to oppose the MLK Holiday, he was consistently the lone dissenting voice on a plethora of civil rights bi-partisan legislation that have strengthened race and gender relations.

Here are just a few of Helms despicable moments as written by Washington Post writer David Broder:

As an aide to the 1950 Senate campaign of North Carolina Republican candidate Willis Smith, Helms reportedly helped create attack ads against Smith's opponent, including one which read: "White people, wake up before it is too late. Do you want Negroes working beside you, your wife and your daughters, in your mills and factories? Frank Graham favors mingling of the races." Another ad featured photographs Helms himself had doctored to illustrate the allegation that Graham's wife had danced with a black man. (The News and Observer, 8/26/01; The New Republic, 6/19/95; The Observer, 5/5/96; Hard Right: The Rise of Jesse Helms, by Ernest B. Furgurson, Norton, 1986)

Ancient history? No. Helms remains unapologetic to this day. Forty years after the Smith campaign, Helms would win election against black opponent Harvey Gantt with another ad playing to racist white fear-- the so-called "white hands" ad, in which a white man's hands crumple a rejected job application while a voiceover intones, "You needed that job…but they had to give it to a minority."

In columns, commentaries and pronouncements from the Senate floor, Helms sowed hatred and called names: The University of North Carolina was "the University of Negroes and Communists." (Capital Times, 11/22/94) Black civil rights activists were "Communists and sex perverts." (Copley News Service, 8/23/01)

Of civil rights protests Helms wrote, "The Negro cannot count forever on the kind of restraint that's thus far left him free to clog the streets, disrupt traffic, and interfere with other men's rights." (WRAL-TV commentary, 1963) He also wrote, "Crime rates and irresponsibility among Negroes are a fact of life which must be faced." (New York Times, 2/8/81)

Over the years Helms has declared homosexuality "degenerate," and homosexuals "weak, morally sick wretches." (Newsweek, 12/5/94) In a tirade highlighting his routine opposition to AIDS research funding, Helms lashed out at the Kennedy-Hatch AIDS bill in 1988: "There is not one single case of AIDS in this country that cannot be traced in origin to sodomy." (States News Service, 5/17/88)

Helms remonstrated ten female members of the House of Representatives to "act like ladies" when they interrupted a Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing to demand support of a U.N. treaty against gender discrimination, and subsequently had them removed from the hearing by Capitol police. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 10/28/99)

And the man ABC News now describes as a "conservative icon" (8/22/01) in 1993 sang "Dixie" in an elevator to Carol Moseley-Braun, the first African-American woman elected to the Senate, bragging, "I'm going to make her cry. I'm going to sing Dixie until she cries." (Chicago Sun-Times, 8/5/93)

More recently, when a caller to CNN's Larry King Live show praised guest Jesse Helms for "everything you've done to help keep down the niggers," Helms' response was to salute the camera and say, "Well, thank you, I think." (Wilmington Star-News, 9/16/95)

Finally, Helms' strong if sometimes shadowy support for violent, anti-democratic forces abroad, from South Africa to El Salvador, might have given media outlets further pause in describing him as a mere conservative; few probed his ties to groups that would more accurately be described as fascist. One exception was an editorial in the Boston Globe (8/23/01): "Helms' role in supporting foreign thugs such as Roberto D'Aubuisson, the cashiered Salvadoran major who ran death squads responsible for savage political murders, did lasting harm to America's good name. In South Africa, Argentina, Mozambique, Honduras, and Nicaragua, Helms cooperated with racists and fascists who have nothing in common with the ideals of American democracy."

Even after all those instances of blatant racism, sexism, homophobia and intolerance, Helms asserted that he was no racist:

"I am not a racist, nor am I a bigot. You can ask any Black that knows me and they'll tell you I'm not a racist!"

Wow... The world seems to have gotten a little bit brighter.

Realest Video I've Seen In A Long Time

2008-07-05T13:33:00.001-05:00

...from Killer Mike.

Looks like he's taking it back to the Public Enemy days.

The Greatest To Ever Do It

2008-06-30T23:38:00.004-05:00

Jay-Z is the greatest rapper ever, and this performance solidifies that...

After being blamed for slow ticket sales by Noel Gallagher, the frontman from the rock band Oasis, for headlining the Glastonbury Rock Festival in England, Jay-Z performed for a sold-out crowd of over 200,000 enthusiastic fans from all over the world. Noel predicted that the concert would be a disaster with Jay as the headliner because he didn't believe that rock fans would embrace hip-hop.

What makes this performance so gangsta is that Jay opened his set by coming out to Oasis' hit song, Wonderwall, which was a polite way of taking the high road while simultaneously saying "f*** you" to Gallagher. That hilarious intro was then followed by "99 Problems", thus making it the first rap song of his hour-long set to ever be played at the festival.

Call him what you want, but Jay is the greatest rapper to ever touch the mic. I'm sure a lot of people would debate that point, but what other rapper has accomplished what Jay has? What rapper has a catalogue and the clout to headline a rock concert of almost a quarter-million international fans?

He said he would not lose eight years ago, and he's still winning.

Water Is The New Oil?

2008-06-12T00:01:00.006-05:00

If you've been paying attention to politics and the rising gas prices you have heard presidential candidates push their platforms of trying to find alternative energy sources to reduce our dependence on foreign oil.

Well the man in the above clip has created a technology that fuses hydrogen and water to create HHO, which is capable of running a car at least 100 miles off of 4oz of water. Sounds too good to be true, right?

Well it kinda is. It is no secret that alternative sources of energy have been around for decades. Countries like Brazil have been 100% oil independent for years and run their vehicles off of corn-based ethanol. We too could go that route, but our political, economic and practical circumstances and interests may prevent that from happening before consumer tensions force action.

It seems that our political and business relationships with the oil-producing nations of OPEC hinge on our dependence to their product. What would happen if we stopped doing business with nations such as Saudi Arabia because we no longer need oil? They would surely become our enemies as their petroleum supplies are largely our only reason for befriending them in the first place. Not to mention we'd destroy their economy. The region would destablize and we'd have a huge crisis in the Middle East which would ultimately threaten our security.

The other problem is that we'd have to convert the millions of cars that we currently use into HHO cars, which is very impractical.

...but with gas prices rising to ridiculous levels, we may have no other choice. Prices won't go down until we decrease demand and show that we are ready to move on.

Do You Get It?

2008-06-10T08:32:00.001-05:00

Throwback: Fear of Progress

2008-06-04T15:04:00.002-05:00

I wrote this blog back in January right after the Iowa Caucuses. It's good to see that Black people, and all people, rallied around Barack and helped him achieve his historic nomination. Thank You.

-----------------------------------------------

"It ain't his time! Ain't no way White folk gonna vote for that boy! I'm goin' with Hillary."

Barbershops. Hair Salons. Dinner tables. This is what I have been hearing from Black folks over the past year.

"They settin' that boy up to fail!"

I have always maintained that if there were ever a serious, viable candidate other than the status quo (i.e. White male) running for President that I would vote for them regardless of party affiliation. Black male, Black female, White female, Asian candidate, gay candidate...whatever. It is my belief that if you can put someone in the highest office in the land with a non-conventional background that it would realistically open the doors for ANYBODY, including your children, to have a shot at becoming President.

Imagine my dismay when an overwhelming percentage of Black people decided that it was impossible for Barack Obama to take a serious shot at the presidency. As much as I supported his run, I was always countered with a negative spin on the situation...almost to the point where I began to doubt that it was possible. Besides, if your own don't support you, why would others?

Fast forward to Obama's win in Iowa. One of the Whitest states in America with a Black population of roughly 2%--a state that has never voted a Black person into any political office-- proved that Obama is a real contender and collectively tells Black people that it is OK to support your own.

But why would it take this co-sign from the majority for us to rally around him? Is he not striving for the same dream that we all as Black people wrote about in our kindergarten classes; or even the dream that King spoke about on the National Mall? Why is it not his time? Why is it not our time? Will it ever be?

Maybe Iowa was a fluke. Maybe I'm being naive. Maybe his historical win won't make much of a difference. Maybe Hillary will win the nomination convincingly down the stretch. But even if that is the reality that we live in, at least we got a chance to taste what it feels like to have hope, even if only for a moment.

Battle at Kruger

2008-05-27T23:02:00.001-05:00

One of the most watched YouTube clips ever.

Free R. Kelly

2008-05-22T10:20:00.005-05:00

As you know, the R. Kelly trial has finally begun after almost six years. Yesterday, the prosecution played the tape of Kelly allegedly getting his 13-year-old on, followed by testimonies from one of the girl's former friends, the girl's aunt, and Kelly's former artist, singer Sparkle.

All three positively identified Kelly and the girl. The former friend even went on to tell how they met Kelly when they were both 12 through her father at a local gym and how they would go over to his house to hang out.

The former friend also positively identified the distinctive log cabin-styled sauna where the tape was filmed and which was also featured on MTV's cribs and a BET program.

After this evidence was presented, the defense countered that the video could have been altered to add Kelly's head to the body on the video.

For some strange reason I believe 'em... and I'm OK with that. Would the man that made "Sex In The Kitchen" and "Real Talk" be capable of this level of sexual deviance and misjudgement? I think not.

"GIRL I'M REA-DY TO TOSS YOUR SAL-AD!"

Throwback: Why Do Women Go to Strip Clubs?

2008-05-21T01:24:00.000-05:00

Being a stripper is possibly one of the most demeaning jobs that a woman could have. You'd have to step out into an arena full of salivating men who view you as a headless body. You're required to strip down to nothingness--skin and dignity--and bare your naked body and all of its secrets for crumbled, dirty dollars from men who probably would be afraid to approach you in a different environment. You're nothing more than an object. It's got to be a mentally taxing profession...

Yet most of the women I know have been to, or want to visit, strip clubs. Some have even told me that it was always a fantasy of theirs to dance in a club, if only for one night.

I personally don't frequent strip clubs, but I do go to them if I'm out of town and a group of friends are going. Under those circumstances I see it as more of a social event and not an event in and of itself. Going to strip clubs is essentially a way to pay for attention from a woman, and to me, if it's not sincere attention it does nothing for me.

I've heard that some strippers get a high off of stripping because they feel that it's one of the few times in life that they felt that they could have complete control over any man that walked through the door. In a twisted way, it seems like some strippers view their profession as militant feminism--to use their bodies to control and break men financially. Now they can add their own gender to that equation.

I've been to my share of gentlemen's clubs, and it amazes me at the number of straight women that attend them. I visited a club in Atlanta once where about 25% of the patrons were women. I've even visited a strip club with a group of very straight, professional female friends. They told me that they liked going because they think the female body is beautiful and they always fantasized about being strippers. A couple of them have even taken stripper aerobics classes.

Could it be that women just want to see what the big deal is about? Do they want to destroy our dirty little secret? Or perhaps they just want to get a few ideas from the pros to take back home to their men.

Whatever the case may be, women are frequenting strip clubs more than ever. No longer is it a vestige for men only. I'm not entirely sure what women's motivations are, but writer Ian Brown gives a good explanation of why men go. In an essay from What I Meant to Say: The Private Lives of Men, Brown breaks his experience down like this:

"I went to the club to bring lust into a more honorable place in my life, to normalize my desire, to make it less of a big deal. For a man, looking is part of his education. It's one way he learns the difference between what he wants and what he can have; or between what he thinks he wants, is supposed to want and what he actually needs."

I think that's a pretty good assessment. Does someone care to explain the other side's reasoning?

W. Va NOT Ready For A Black President

2008-05-17T14:15:00.003-05:00

Shout out to Rell for the clip.

Ignorance: "My opinion is...I think the United States of America should be run by...somebody from the United States of America...he's Muslim."

On My Radar: Estelle (f. Kanye West)

2008-05-12T21:35:00.002-05:00

I'm not into Brit Pop, but this track is cool. I heard it in a lounge in DC some months back and never knew who it was by. She's a British artist who, I believe, is signed to John Legend's label. Nice track.

The Real-Life Uncle Ruckus (from Boondocks)

2008-05-08T11:12:00.004-05:00

This is shameful. Never in my life have I seen someone have as much self-hate as this dispicable human being. What's really scary is that he apparently has a following.

I actually saw this guy on Fox News some months back as they praised him for his views, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that Uncle Ruckus from the Boondocks was actually a real person.

This brother needs to re-evaluate himself and realize that he's black.

"White Jesus will save your soul while drowning you in the baptism water" -Uncle Ruckus

And The Winner For Weirdest Country In The World Is...

2008-05-02T08:16:00.003-05:00

...India.

Denouncing Jeremiah: Wright or Wrong?

2008-05-01T11:50:00.006-05:00

"Dammit! Don't you f*** this up for us!"

That's what I was thinking as I watched Jeremiah Wright during his animated Q&A session after his inflammatory, yet accurate and phenomenal, speech about the history of the Black Church at the Press Club function on Monday. After the speech, Wright turned into an angry cartoon character complete with eye-bugging and a Merry Melody cartoonish grin. His appearance quickly turned from one of enlightenment and understanding to a rant of conspiracy theories and blatant disrespect for the candidacy of a member of his congregation. To put it mildly, he showed ass! I mean ass all up in the camera: throwing Que hooks, putting his bid in for Vice President on the Obama ticket, bugging his eyes, disrespecting the moderator, calling Obama nothing more than a mere politician (even if true, he knew that it would hurt his candidacy) and the list goes on.

Now it is my belief that Wright had every right to defend himself and his legacy. The 30-second sound bites that set off this controversy were an unfair vast right-wing conspiracy aimed to destroy a presidential candidate. Though Obama had to distance himself from the comments, I felt that he showed Wright a great deal of respect by defending his legacy and not throwing him under the bus (which is what 95% of other politicians would have done).
But there's a fine line between defending yourself and defending your ego.

After the Bill Moyer interview, I felt that Wright actually did himself and the Obama campaign a great service by showing that he was a sane and intellectual man. Wright would have been well-served to leave his appearances at that.

Even after the NAACP Speech on the following night, he came across as a brilliant mind and dynamic speaker that explained why anyone, regardless of their thoughts on some of his views, would stick around for 20 years, as he is thought-provoking and entertaining as hell. Glimpses of ego, though, showed during that speech as he shamelessly plugged his forthcoming book, but it didn't take away from the message.

But after that Press Club speech, his ego got the best of him. He strongly asserted that an attack on him was an attack on the Black Church. Actually dude, it was simply an attack on Barack Obama. And if the way that he acted, and the views that he spewed during that Q&A is his way of defending the Black Church and helping our history as Blacks in America (i.e. Sticking up for the possibility of the first Black President), I don't he did the institution, or Barack, any favors.

He had to be cut loose.

It's my belief that being in the limelight could have this effect on anybody. Wright got caught up in the hype and fed on the attention that he was getting from the press. What he didn't realize is that the media was giving him all this attention in hopes that he would slip up and make an ass of himself, which he succeeded at doing. So as Obama's polls have taken a hit, perhaps temporarily, Wright's legacy has been damaged forever to the public at-large. He didn't realize that he was a mere pawn in a sport that is much bigger than him.

If Barack loses the primary or the election based on this controversy, it sucks to know that his own pastor actually contributed to his defeat. If he loses, in 20 years when they are doing a PBS special on the fall of the first viable Black candidate for the presidency, it's a shame that grainy footage of Wright throwing up Que hooks in front of the National Press Club will define the descent.

Forthcoming...

2008-04-29T07:52:00.002-05:00

My thoughts on the Rev. Jeremiah Wright controversy. Are we watching the end of an historical campaign?

Do You Want To Be A Nigger, Too? I'll Pass...

2008-04-23T15:34:00.011-05:00

Soooo...

Everybody's favorite, once-great-but-now-relies-on-controversy-to-sell-records-rapper, is back with "Be A Nigger Too."

According to Nas this song, and album, is supposed to "take power away from the word" by beating it to death. Though I can understand his reasoning, somewhat, I don't think he has enough credibility to take on a task of that magnitude. Hell...he can't even articulate that in interviews or through song.

"I'm a nigga, he's a nigga, she's a nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga toooo...::breathe::... NIGGA!

It's not working. By allowing people who have not been oppressed by the word to use it freely only serves to grant those same people the right to oppress. Those people that are now allowed by the savior Nas to call themselves "nigga/er" will have the privelege or playing both sides of the fence when it's convenient. That white kid that puts on the doo-rag at a Nas concert and sings along with this song only has to put on a suit the next day to release the word's baggage when it's time to go to that job interview. That Asian kid that is allowed to call himself "nigga/er" probably won't have to deal with getting pulled over for driving while Asian. Pressing the issue only serves to make it worse.

Nas disappoints me. As much as I think he was one of the greatest lyricists of my time off of the stength of two albums (whatever, bitch! It Was Written was a classic!) he proves more and more with each album that as much as he tries to portray himself as the conscious rapper, he's just as confused as I am with the positions that he chooses to take. This particular song is conscious-light. If you really listen to the song, it has no substance. He even drops the attempt at social commentary and reverts back to materialism and violence in the second verse.

The more I think about it, I don't think that he's even pulling the strings in his own career. I think that his controversial angles as of late are makeovers forced upon him by his label to sell records--his artist development meeting probably went something like this...

Label Head: "You're our conscious rapper. That's the look and the market you're going for, right? You're hip...you're with it. Much cooler and edgier than your competiton Table Kweeli and Most Definite. How about we call your album Nigger and sell some records!"

Nas: "True indeed, son. Let's get this paper."

I read an article that stated that Young Buck was recently denied permission to put out a song that had an anti-police message; that same article cited how Def Jam would not allow Public Enemy to reference Mumia Abu Jamal or Amadou Diallo in a song because it was too controversial, yet the same label allows Nas to make an entire album called Nigger? The same label that put out Thug Inspiration 101 by Jeezy the Snowman? There's something wrong with this picture. Could it be that they don't take him or his message seriously? I know I don't.

“You've been everything they ever told you to be. Nasty Nas, Nastrodomas, Nas Escobar. and now you're their Nigger… At what point are you going to be a man?”

Ignorance:
Just to clarify, the statement that he made at the end about Black people not being able to vote in another 23-years is inaccurate. The legislation that he's talking about is the Minority Voter's Protection Act which was extended by George Bush 2 years ago. Voter's rights are guaranteed by the 15th Amendment regardless of race, color or creed.

The Minority Voter's Protection Act was enacted by Lyndon Johnson, along with Affirmative Action, in 1964 to prevent states specifically from requiring reading tests and poll taxes aimed to disenfranchise Blacks during the Civil Right's Movement. The law was originally supposed to be temporarily enacted for 5-years to ease the transition of the Civil Right's Act, but has since been extended to 25-year increments as "showcase" political legislation to highlight the government's commitment to Civil Rights.

You Make The Caption

2008-04-22T07:18:00.003-05:00

"Nigga you don't want none"

Think you can do better? Leave it in the comments section.

Obama Brushes The Dirt Off His Shoulders

2008-04-18T15:58:00.002-05:00

This clip is from his rally in Raleigh, NC. Did anybody go?

Bob Johnson....Please...

2008-04-16T00:59:00.004-05:00

...sit the f*** down and shut the f*** up...

Dude... you gave birth to a platform that played videos like "Tell Me What That Thang Smell Like." Why all the hate for Obama?

------------------------------------

Former BET owner Bob Johnson is back in the news this week with a new analysis on the Democratic race between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

During an interview the Charlotte Observer, Johnson—who was criticized several months ago for talking about Obama’s drug use during a Clinton campaign rally—cosigned controversial statements by former Clinton surrogate Geraldine Ferraro, saying that Obama is in the position he’s in now due to his race.

"What I believe Geraldine Ferraro meant is that if you take a freshman senator from Illinois called 'Jerry Smith' and he says I'm going to run for president, would he start off with 90 percent of the black vote?" Johnson asked rhetorically. "And the answer is, probably not."

What Johnson, and many other pundits and surrogates neglect to mention is that Obama’s overwhelming popularity with black voters did not happen overnight.
A Time magazine article that ran in January of last year cited a CBS poll that had Clinton at 52% of black voters, compared to Obama’s 28%.

Johnson didn’t stop with his Ferraro comment, and went on to discuss the racial tensions in the campaign.

"I make a joke about Obama doing drugs (and it's) 'Oh my God, a black man tearing down another black man'.”

He also questioned Obama’s ability to get in touch with the average American citizen.
"I don't think he has that common -- what I call `I-want-to-go-out-and-have-a-drink-with-you -- touch," the billionaire added.

Despite the harsh words from Johnson, Obama’s campaign is not giving Johnson a lot of play and writing off his comments as “absurd” in a statement, while sticking to the ideal of not fighting fire with fire.

"This is just one in a long line of absurd comments by Bob Johnson and other Clinton supporters who will say or do anything to get the nomination," campaign spokesman Dan Leistikow said. "The American people are tired of this and are ready to turn the page on these kind of attack politics."

Johnson acknowledged that Obama will likely win the Democratic nomination and blamed “the liberal media” for giving the junior senator from Illinois a boost.
"They sort of dislike Hillary for her vote on the war. They don't want to see Bill and Hillary in power again," he said of the Clintons. "So Obama comes in and runs a smart campaign. But that's not the Second Coming, in my opinion, of John F. Kennedy, FDR or the world's greatest leaders."

As of press time, Obama holds 1,647 total delegates, while Clinton has 1,507. The next Democratic primary will take place April 22 in Pennsylvania.

Katt Williams on Barack Obama

2008-04-09T21:48:00.001-05:00

Fuuunnn-ty!

Tha Carter 3

2008-04-09T20:29:00.001-05:00

Familiar? Illmatic? Ready to Die, maybe?

Love In This Club

2008-04-09T15:45:00.002-05:00

Went to Atlanta this past weekend and heard this song everywhere: on the radio, in the mall, the grocery store, the strip... I mean the local homeless shelter... where I...read to... orphans...

Should Prostitution Be Illegal?

2008-04-02T23:34:00.004-05:00

A guy in a white Ford Taurus circles the block at 1 a.m. in the middle of the city. He's on the prowl. He spots the woman that he wants and circles the block one more time to make sure the coast is clear. He pulls up beside her...

Words are exchanged, she gets in, money is exchanged, they go have sex.

A guy in a white button-up circles the bar of the club. He's on the prowl. He spots a woman that he wants and circles the club one more time to make sure the coast is clear (he's a player). He walks up beside her...

Words are exchanged, she shows interest, drinks are bought, they eventually have sex.

Though I am not an advocate of prostitution, as I find it morally reprehensible, it can be argued that the exchange of goods and services are similar in each of the above scenarios. Just because one doesn't pay for sex in cash doesn't mean that that those persons' intentions aren't the same.

Many guys and girls play the dating game just to get to the end game. They go out at night to find sexual partners. In many instances these meetings can lead to official dates where more money is spent on activities that add up significantly monetarily. And in many cases both parties are purely interested in the physical result of these outtings.

So if the game is the same, whether its called prostitution or gaming, then why is one, by law, worse than the other?

Make no mistake about it: I am in no way a proponent of prostitution, but I question the validity of the government's role in infringing on an act that, by it's very nature, should be a private act between two consenting adults whether money or dinner is exchanged. If having sex for money, or goods, is a crime then those persons paying the way of others during social outtings (buying drinks, dinner, movies etc.) to earn sexual favors are just as guilty as the pimps and the prostitutes prepetuating a culture that is frowned upon by our federal government.

In the aforementioned scenario, however, the pimps are the night clubs and bars that charge high cover charges and drink prices in an effort to create a sexually charged environment condusive to one-night stands... which is the very reason why men and women congregate at these places on Saturday nights.

On the flip side, if a person wants to solicit sex from a prostitute for hire and cut out the dating/gaming aspect, why should they be punished? If prostitution was legalized and those persons were required to have the proper health checks in place and were required by law to practice safe sex in controlled environments, then much of the disease and violence that occurs in this underground industry would subside.

Once again, I am not saying that prostitution is OK. As a matter of fact it's morally wrong! But so are one-night stands. If we are going to inject morality into our laws then the government has a duty, not only to outlaw prostitution, but also to outlaw drink buying at the club, Waffle House outtings after the club, and 3 a.m. after-the-Waffle-House-one-night-stands.

Some Shameful Sh**: The Fall of MC Hammer

2008-03-26T23:00:00.008-05:00

Many people don't know what caused the demise of MC Hammer's career. Here was a man that was on top of the world with the best selling rap album of all time in his 1990 release "Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em". The album sold over 12 million copies and Mr. Hammer became filthy rich.

...but what caused his career to come crashing down?

Many believe it was his frivolous spending and flambouyant lifestyle, while others think the parachute pants did him in. Both are solid contributors to the demise of his career, but here is the real answer...

Pumps in a Bump. Yes...Pumps in a muthafu**in Bump. That's right.

You can't go from "Pray" to stuffing a banana in a leopard-print Speedo along with a pair of black Timberlands. He maybe could've pulled it off with wheat Timberlands, but black Tims and a Speedo isn't what's good. And just what the f*** is a "Pump in a Bump?" Is it a direct reference to the stuffed Speedos or is it an ass reference? I'm confused.

In any event, I apologize for subjecting you to the gyrations of an aging MC Hammer, but consider it a public service announcement: Speedos and black Timberlands will ruin your life. Don't let it happen to you.

Mo' Hate in '08.

Strictly for my 80s babies: Throwwwwwwback!

2008-03-26T22:51:00.002-05:00

by Carah Herring

Is it just me or does seemingly every out-of-the-norm behavior have a diagnosis nowadays? And it’s no surprise that seemingly everything can supposedly be cured with a pill – Shyness (Seroxat). Baldness (Propecia). Paleness (Melanotan). Limpness (Viagara).

I’ve never been big on prescriptions. I’m into the herbal remedies and for certain ailments, simply letting the sickness run its course.

With that being said: I have recently discovered why things in my life were a little rough for a year or two after my college graduation (heck, even now!). I was suffering from a Quarter-Life Crisis (the 20something version of a midlife crisis)! No, I wasn’t on the verge of a nervous breakdown and or in need of a straight jacket! The Quarter Life Crisis is a term applied to the developmental period of life immediately following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the ages of 21 to 29, according to Wikipedia. Many therapists recognize this condition, y’all.

Google it! Numerous articles and books have been written about this phenomena. Do some of the following QLC characteristics ring true in your life?:

- feeling “not good enough” because one can’t find a job that is at one’s academic/intellectual level
- frustration with relationships, the working world and finding a suitable job or career
- insecurity regarding the near future
- re-evaluation of close inter-personal relationships
- tendency to hold stronger opinions
- financially-rooted stress
- loneliness
- a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
- boredom with social interactions
- nostalgia for university, high school or elementary school life

I guess another name for the condition would be ‘growing pains.’

At any rate, we all can relate to the Quarter Life Crisis to a certain degree. But instead of popping a pill (even though I don’t think there’s one for this), heading to a shrink or b*tching and moaning with girlfriends during Happy Hour about your woulda, shoulda, coulda, wanna and can’ts – why not let our Quarter Life Crises ‘run its course’? How about wallowing in our nostalgia for high school and elementary school life, shall we? It’ll be fun.

(And yeah, I’ll definitely follow up with a note detailing more info on the QLC. Stay tuned!)

Cheers to a stroll down memory lane:

■ Thursday nights at 9pm. Where were you? On the couch watching "New York Undercover" ! Torres and Williams were soooooo cool. And after solving a crime, they’d always end the night at >where else?< NATALIE’S! Oh yeah, Ice-T was the ultimate villain on there. Didn’t he kill Williams’ fiancée?

■ Where’s Waldo? Now THAT was one weird looking dude – but the books were so much fun! Don't front -- you'd be geeked when you located him!

■ T.G.I.F. Back in the day where you didn’t actually go out on Friday nights, it was all about "Family Matters" and "Step By Step" on ABC. Steve Urkel was worrisome as all get out – “Did I do thaaaaat?” But what about when Stephon Urk’el came along? He was THAT dude. Ow!

■ I’m not going to lie: Some of the episodes on SNICK’s (Saturday night on Nickelodeon) "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" scared me kinda good. Especially the one about the clown in the old house. OMG! I had to sleep with my mom and dad one or two nights off of that one.

■ Other memorable Nickelodeon Shows: "Double Dare", "Legends of the Hidden Temple", "Welcome Freshmen." I didn't get into "Fifteen." Too much drama!

■ "Salute Your Shorts" was one of my all-time faves. Sing along, everybody: “We run, we jump, we swim and plaaa-aaay. We row and go on trips. But the thing that lasts foreverrrrrr. Are our dear friendships. Dun-dun-dun. Camp Onawanna, we hold you in our hearts. And when we think about you. IT MAKES ME WANNA FART. // Ug:“It’s I hope we never part. Now get it right, or pay the price!”

■ Cuba Gooding Jr’s little brother Omar had a show on Nickelodeon. "Wild and Crazy Kids." Three teams always competed. Remember: The red team, the blue team and the green team.

■ The Babysitters Club books! Who could forget Claudia and Mallory (with all her brothers and sisters)? And you can't forget the "Super Specials" -- the books that featured ALL seven BSC members

■ Name Kriss Kross’s hits: Jump, I Missed the Bus (Remember how on the video, the bus driver was a bug?)

■ Remember the R&B group Another Bad Creation : Myeee-shaaaa. You were the girl that I neva had… How many lil’ guys were in that group. Like, forreal?

■ “I want money, lots and lots of money. I want it piled to the skyyyyyy. I wanna be rich!” Remember that R&B song from the late 80s?

■ Michael Jackson had two MAJOR video premieres during our elementary school days: “Black & White” (Remember, Macauly Culkin was in it?) and “Remember the Times” (With the Egyptian theme) I KNOW you tried to do the dance with the tv AT LEAST twice.

■ Speaking of music and videos, do you remember Eddie Murphy’s much-trumped up music video? It had a major world premiere on FOX. Woo chile, it was so WHACK. I remember it had the sky in the background and he had on these dark glasses. Michael Jackson was in it, too.

■ Remember the MC Hammer cartoon? I watched it a couple times. The animation wasn’t that great. And it only stayed on for a couple months. It was kinda stupid.

■ Speaking of Hammer, how could anyone forget his inspirational jam: Pray. “I say we pray, PRAY, pray, PRAY. We’ve got to pray just to make it today.”

■ You know you can still do Hammer’s “2 Legit 2 Quit” Hand Movements! Come on, do it for old times sake!

■ PBS had a lot of good programming. After our generation started getting too old for Sesame Street, I swear that had some noteworthy follow-up programs: "Ghostwriter" (Remember Jamal and Grandma Jenkins? Lenny’s singing career? Alex and Gabby at the bodega?), "Wishbone" (the cute lil’ story telling dog) and "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" (“Hit it Acapella!”)

I’m going to save the rest of my nostalgic reflections for Part II. If any of y’all have some ‘memmmmorrrrrieeeeeeeeeeeeeees” of your own, please feel free to elaborate in the comments section.

Until next time... XOXO, Carah

2nd Banned Episode

2008-03-26T00:24:00.001-05:00

This one was just straight up offensive. Too far.

Boondocks: Commentary or Coonery?

2008-03-24T08:11:00.002-05:00

Here's the full clip of the Boondocks episode that was protested and banned by BET. In it Aaron McGruder casts an extremely negative light on BET as a company and on the Al Sharpton-esque "Black Leadership."

I enjoy the Boondocks. It makes me laugh. But sometimes the Boondocks walks a fine line between self-realization and minstrel much in the same way that the Dave Chappelle Show evolved. Dave's early skits made light of racism in an attempt to create dialogue through comedy, and by the last season he was wearing black face and depicting himself as a pixie.

I think BET is just as bad for the black community as the next man, but is this the way of going about exposing them and making a social/political statement? While progress through descent is a justifiable way of bringing about change to social issues, it's also the responsibility of those descenting to express how they want things to change. I'm not so sure we're getting that from the Boondocks.

Incredible

2008-03-18T22:41:00.001-05:00

Black Murders White

2008-03-14T13:33:00.009-05:00

This post was allegedly left by a UNC Student on a University message board in the aftermath of the Eve Carson murder...

Re: Sub-Human Nigger scum senselessly murders UNC Student President, Eve Carson

I was just about to post the same thing. Let the animals burn and send them the fuck
away from our campus. Fuck all of them. Fuck affirmative action, letting in unqualified illiterate nigger gangsters when those spots should go to more qualified white and fuck it, even asian or indian or whatever kids. Fuck the black thugs posted up in the pit every day, blotting out the fucking sun with their darkness. Fuck the self important black greeks, we dont give a fuck about your shitty ass tacky jackets or fake nicknames.

Fuck the loud mouthed fat ass black girls, they never shut up in the dining halls and
student U, in the name of Hinton James get the FUCK off of our campus. Fuck the blacks infesting carrboro, I know it was one of them who took Eve, I swear to god if I had anything to do about it Robert E. Lee would have won and they would still be picking our cotton. Fuck the school administrators who tolerate them, fuck everything, fuck everyone who wasn´t there but should have been. And most of all, FUCK the nigger who killed Eve for a fucking ATM card. FUCK YOU. I pray that you hang from Davey Poplar tonight.

...

I can't really say that I'm surprised or even that I'm angry. Why should I be? In the wake of tragedies where a Black person senselessly murders a white person these sentiments are expected, and to a great degree, understandable. It's human nature to identify and empathize with "your own" while chastising those responsible, even if that means lumping everyone together that resembles the offenders. It's a coping mechanism. Being an alum of UNC, I can attest that these occurrences are magnified on college campuses, as they are, more or less, a 50-acre microcosm of America.

We all do it. When Amadou Diallo was shot in New York in 1999 there was a huge backlash against White people within the Black community with continued charges of institutionalized racial violence. Protests took place on college campuses across the country, polarizing the races. When September 11 happened in 2001, the Muslim-American community suffered increased levels of racial intolerance and hate crimes. The murder of Eve Carson will be no different. One group will take it out on another as a way to make sense of the incident and to cope with the loss.

The saddest part of all this is that the bastards responsible for killing Eve, among others, have managed to further widen the racial divide in America with the simple flick of their index finger in the direction of a trigger. That insignificant reflexive action on the part of a 17-year-old will undoubtedly cause some idealistic students that thought they were above issues of race to question their decision to vote for Obama in the NC Primary in May. The pull of that trigger will further justify to women, Black or White, why they should clutch their purses a little tighter when I walk by them. Consequences.

Why are our Black youth so prone to violence? When I heard that Eve was shot and her car stolen, there was no question in my mind that it was a Black male. Typically most random acts of violence by gun fire involve Black males. There's a serious problem within the Black family structure in poor neighborhoods that cause these kids to turn to violence. Do they not receive enough love at home? Are the economic situations so bad that they have no other alternatives to survive?

I reject the notion that these kids have no other options. I grew up with only my mother present in an environment that contained the same pitfalls that many of our youth fall into. I could have easily used my mind to become a respected drug dealer as many of my friends and peers had. The only difference is that my mother made it her duty to point me in a positive direction. Many of those kids that I grew up with are dead behind senseless acts of violence. I have to believe that with the right influences in their lives, and the right parenting in place, that self-destructive behavior can be eradicated in many (if not all) instances.

I really feel for the family of Eve Carson. I also feel for the family of Latrese Curtis who was a North Carolina Central student who was found slain on the side of I-540 in Durham on January 31 of this year (an incident that didn't get national coverage). She was discovered as motorists made their way to work in the early morning hours. I feel for the family Abijhit Majato, a Duke grad student who was allegedly murdered back in early January by one of the men responsible for Eve's death. This story, also, did not receive national coverage.

There are hundreds of Eve Carsons whose stories deserve attention. And there are hundreds of problems that need to be addressed to stop these stories from happening. It's just a shame that the actions and dysfunctional nature of a few always tend to cause greater problems for the masses. And it's a shame that race is always at the center.

Jay-Z's Ode To Heroin

2008-03-10T22:47:00.004-05:00

They say people on heroin, regardless of how they may look on the outside, are in a completely different reality when they're high. That guy that you may ride by in the city who is dancing erratically on the sidewalk is probably a rockstar at a wild party in his mind. The woman that is passed out on her couch is probably in the arms of her lover in her mind-altered world.

I don't know much about drugs, but I have seen their effects first-hand in my personal life. If there's one thing I do know it's that drugs can destroy your mind and is a major factor in the destruction of our communities.

I used to wonder how people could see the effects of crack/heroin addiction and still try them. Though I still don't fully understand, it's conceivable that people in bad situations would run towards escapisms to get away from their problems. This video does a good job of capturing that concept.

Ballin on a Budget: Live Within Your Means and Stop Frontin’!

2008-03-08T10:22:00.001-05:00

by Carah Herring

Tell the truth: After perusing various profiles and photo albums on FB and MySpace, sometimes you can be jealous as hell. Everyone seems to be poppin’ bottles, rocking the cutest trend-setting threads, taking trips to awesome locales (domestic and international), and are more or less, doing the damn thing.

We ALL want to live the glamorous life. But with bouts of unemployment, car payments, car insurance, rent/mortgage, medical bills (perhaps due to a lack of health insurance), credit card debt, student loans and cost chaos at the gas pump… oh yeah, and food…(gotta eat right?) coupled with a measly paycheck, it seems impossible to get ahead… let alone, keep up with our seemingly better-funded ‘ball-out-‘til-I-fall-out’ peers.

Forget ‘Generation X’ and ‘Generation Y’… financial experts have labeled the 18-34 set (a.k.a. us) ‘Generation Broke.’ We want to portray a certain material status – like money ain’t a thang (“In the Ferrarri, the Jaguar switching four lanes, top down, screaming out money ain’t a thang!” Throwback! I love that song with JD and Jay-Z!). Yet in reality, all of our flossing and fronting, courtesy of Visa, MasterCard and American Express, drives many of us deeper and deeper in the black hole of debt.

This is not the predictable ‘cut up your credit cards/no more daily Starbucks’ schpiel. I’m sure y’all have heard the sermon repeatedly about how you’ve got to take control of your finances by creating a budget, having a SAVINGS ACCOUNT (you’d be surprised to know that some folks our age don’t have one. Forreal.) and contributing more toward your retirement. So why rehash?

Instead, I’m going to list some PRACTICAL, REALISTIC suggestions for how you can reduce and/or eliminate some of your weekly and monthly expenses in order to save more greenbacks. That way, you’ll have more funds to throw into your Roth IRA, pay down your debts, legitimately take that fabulous trip or quite simply to do it up locally from time to time for fellow FB-ers to envy YOUR photo albums for once.

It’s time-tested advice, lived out by yours truly. You’d be surprised how saving $5 here and $15 there adds up to hundreds of dollars over the course of a couple months. I’m all about enjoying life and enjoying the fruits of my labor. But at the same time, we MUST set limits. With gas prices approaching $4 a gallon, we can’t spend frivolously like we used to.

■ Find a hobby that doesn’t require shopping
When we’re bored on the weekend with time to kill, what do we do? Shop. Maybe it’s a quick run to Wally World (Wal-Mart) or Target… maybe the mall. Not always good. Try to identify other creative activities that won’t have you digging in your pockets as much – fall in love with the library, visit museums, volunteer at a local hospital or shelter, sign-up for a Netflix subscription, exercise (if you’re too cheap to buy a fitness DVD, swap with someone or watch the various programs on FitTV), sketch, discover the parks in your city, host a game night with friends (don’t front, Twister and Jenga are the sh*t). Call it being cheap… or call it being smart.

■ Order wine instead of top shelf liquor at the club
Ladies, if someone else is footing the bill – it’s all good: Hook up the shots of Patron, the Royal Flush, the Long Island Iced Tea… the WORKS! But if you’re Sponsor-less, don’t scan the bar like a drink whore, expecting a random guy to treat your thirsty butt. House wines range from about $3 to $6 a glass. It gives you a classy, diva-esque air without killing your pockets.

If you TOTALLY don’t do wines, either go for the mixed drink specials or consume a bottle of your choice at the house or in the parking lot prior to going inside the club (if someone else is driving of course…).

■ Don’t eat out all the time
You MUST set a weekly budget for your quick trips to Mickey D’s, Bojangles (y’all don’t have this up North. Straight DELISH!) and Chick fil A. You’d be surprised how quickly all the fast food, Happy Hours and lunches add up. Heck, I’d like to have more to show for my hard-earned money than piss and poop.

■ Do you want fries with that shake? Hell to the naw!
We’ve been ingrained during our fast food excursions that we MUST get the value meal or that we MUST get fries and a drink to go with our burger. Try this: Get the burger, nix the fries and get a courtesy cup of water. You’ll save at least $2 (yay, more money for gas!) and your waistline will thank you for avoiding hundreds of calories. It’s a small savings, but it adds up over time. Don’t get me wrong – I’ll eat French fries SOMETIMES, but I try to make it a delicacy.

■ For the ladies: Take off the acrylic nails!
I used to ‘get my nails did’ religiously during my College days and for a while afterward. Natural nubs couldn’t hold a candle to the more polished, feminine French or American Manicures that I rocked. However, au natural hands can be really pretty when kept up. Seriously! Last week, after staring at my nails for a minute, my sister finally asked me, "Are those your nails or acrylics?"

I go to the nail salon about once a month for a $12 manicure (to establish the shape and to get my cuticles pushed back). Then I maintain them myself for the rest of the month. So that’s an extra $15 to $20 in my pocket every 2 weeks. That’s nearly $200 saved over a 6-month span.

■ For the ladies: Do your own relaxer
I know, I know. I’m all about healthy, professionally-styled hair. But hey, sometimes that $5 box perm can tide you over a month or two, which knocks at least $20 off of your monthly hair appointment total. Relax your hair at home and then go to the salon to get it cut and styled.

■ For the ladies: Razor/pluck your eyebrows between monthly waxes
The wax establishes the general shape/ arch of your eyebrows . A $2 mini-razor from Sally’s Beauty Supply will allow you to get rid of the stray eyebrow hairs, eliminating at least two visits to the salon. Total monthly savings: About $15

■ Set limits for the holidays and plan in advance
You KNEW your girl’s b’day was later this month. So don’t wait until the week before to panic and make excuses because you’re flat broke. Set aside a little bit every paycheck so you won’t be scrambling. The same thing applies for Christmas. Set a limit. Don’t get lost in the hype, and spend $800 on presents. That’s totally unnecessary and unrealistic. You don’t have to break the bank in order to prove your love to fam and friends.

****************************************************************

If you’re tired of being broke as hell, stop griping and take action! Apply the aforementioned suggestions, get a second job or a side hustle, TITHE (10% to God first) and pray that God will give you the wisdom and discipline to make the right financial decisions.

If all else fails, marry rich. J/K.

Lastly, in your quest to financial wellness, be realistic. Don’t always be so quick to compare your financial status to that of others. Sometimes, the people who seem to have it all together may not be as perfect as you think. They might be hopelessly in debt. Or maybe they still live at home (I’m a part of this club. My Nana is my landlord!) Perhaps they are legitimately paid, but have a tedious, agonizing job with long hours and creepy coworkers. You just never know a person’s situation!

Please feel free to list your money-savings tips in the comment section below. I’m interested in finding out how you keep your finances in order.

Aerobi-dance

2008-03-03T23:36:00.006-05:00

So imagine that you're in a club in 2008. You're on the dance floor doing your thing and then all of a sudden this breaks out...

Would you think to yourself, "Damn those dudes can really dance?" or would you think "Did these dudes really get together and come up with aerobic dance moves at home before coming out here?"

Looking at this scene from House Party it seems pretty silly and unrealistic that folks would put this much effort into coming up with complex dance moves for a house party, but back in the 90's this was the thing to do.

I remember getting together with my cousins and friends at age 9 and practicing the Roger Rabbit, the Running Man (aka the MC Hammer), and the Kid 'N Play. Those were the fun days. I miss those days. I mean they were tiring as hell, but at least they kept you in shape.

Today there's no effort in dance moves. The snap movement was probably the laziest dance craze in history. The Shoulder Lean is literally a dance where you "lean your shoulder" and with the Lean Back you...lean back.

What happened to the days where you had to have your inhaler ready-to-go if you decided you were going to go out to the club? Why do girls that go into clubs with fresh perms these days leave out with fresh perms? Why don't you see people jumping over their own legs like they used to do in the "I Got The Power" video? What the f*%#???

Even still, if I ever see two random people doing sychronized dance moves in a club, I will hate.

This guy right here though?... He gets my respect...

Let's bring the Typewriter back. Who's with me?

Run

2008-03-02T08:33:00.000-05:00

New video from Gnarls Barkley.

XXX Church: The Porno Pastors

2008-02-25T17:15:00.000-05:00

No... that's not the name of the newest adult movie. There is actually a new movement to covert people in the adult film community, and those addicted to porn, to Christianity through a new church called XXX Church.

When I heard about it this morning on the radio I thought it was a sick joke, but this is a legitimate movement.

Apparently the Church's founders (both Divinity School graduates) travel to porn conventions across the county and set up shop right between the Golden Shower and Bang Bus booths *snare drum roll*...

Seriously though, they attend these conventions and pass out their quick-read version of the Bible called "Jesus Loves Porn Stars" to spread the Word.

Other functions that they hold include events called Porn and Pancakes, PornSundays (which is currently held at 200 traditional churches around the country), and a college tour where they debate the ills of pornography with porn-legend Ron Jeremy.

In addition to this, they host a website called xxxchurch.com where they offer support and guidance to those that want to leave the adult industry and those who are addicted to pornography.

As you can imagine, they are receiving a lot of heat from traditional religious groups around the country about their methods of gaining Converts. They argue that this venture is blasphemous and directly conflicts with God's intentions. But does it really?

I admit that I thought this was ridiculous, but I actually went to the site's message board and was surprised to find that people are actually taking it seriously. As absurd as it sounds, shouldn't they be applauded for going out and converting those who are living in sin? It's easy to criticize from the pew, but isn't it harder to go out into the trenches and do the dirty work?

Check out the above clip of the interview they did with ABC News.

What do you think?

Security Relaxed at Obama Rally

2008-02-23T10:13:00.006-05:00

The Star-Telegram of Ft. Worth, TX reported on Thursday that local police officers were concerned that weapons screening was halted more than an hour before the candidate spoke at a Dallas arena.

The Secret Service defended the action by saying that there was no deviation from their "layered" security measures but failed to explain why such a large number of people were simply let in with not so much as going through a metal detector.

In this day and age, and with the history of Dallas as being the site of the Kennedy assassination, what the fuck!? How could a federal order come down to mandate that Secret Service agents NOT protect a candidate and allow for the potential of an unfortunate situation?

What really pissed me off is that they justified it by saying that they wanted to let everyone in before he spoke and that security was holding up the line...and THEN saying that the crowd appeared to be "friendly."

*blink blink*...appeared to be friendly?

I hate to get into the conspiracy theory business, but why would the nation's most thorough security outfit have a lapse in judgement of this magnitude in an arena containing 17,000 people with different minds and motives; for the nation's first Black candidate, who received death threats as soon as he announced his run, and was assigned a Secret Service detail over a year ago?

I've seen Obama speak three times here in SC at smaller venues, and I was never searched or sent through a metal detector. Hell, I even walked up to him personally at a party, shook his hand, and took a picture with him. It bothered me and I tried to justify that maybe the Secret Service knew what they were doing, but the more I think about it that just doesn't fly. You can't even go into a high school basketball game without going through a metal detector and we're letting a viable Black presidential candidate--that could very well be the leader of the Free World--speak in front of large crowds of unscreened people?

Either the federal government wants something to happen to this man or the Secret Service needs to get their shit together. It's easier to inconvenience a couple thousand people than to have to explain why you didn't do enough to protect a presidential candidate in the aftermath of a tragedy. As much as things change, they stay the same.

A Great Moment In Cinema History

2008-02-20T19:27:00.006-05:00

There are few moments in movies that completely capture the genius of an actor or actress. Jack Nicholson's moment came during A Few Good Men with his famous "You can't handle the truth!" line. For Denzel Washington, nothing is more touching than his last walk to the Audubon Ballroom for his last speech in his portrayal of Malcolm X. For Russell Crowe, it was his battle sequence in Gladiator followed by the hair-raising question, "Are you not entertained?"

...All of these moments, however, pale in comparison to Eddie Murphy's portrayal of "Jackson Height's own...Mr. Randy...Watson."

Perhaps you don't agree, but think about how ahead of his time he was to have the foresight to come up with something that is as timeless and funny today as it was back in 1989. No comedian at the time, or even today, pushed the boundaries of prosthetic make-up the way that Eddie Murphy did in Coming To America in an attempt to propel comedy to a new level.

And don't get me started on the dialogue of this scene...

"You may remember him as 'Joe the Policeman' from the 'What's Goin' Down'-episode of That's My Mama..."

or

"While you're in a clapping mood, I'd like you to give a big round of applause to my band...Sexual Chocolate...Sexual Chocolate...they play so fine, don't you agree?"

This has got to be one of the funniest moments in movie history. I challenge anyone to prove otherwise.

Flashing Lights (Official Video)

2008-02-14T19:47:00.004-05:00

Directed by Kanye and Spike Jonze. I'm guessing, but it looks like a non-linear progression of his past singles where Flashing Lights is the death...

"Can't Tell Me Nothin" is the afterlife...

...and "Stronger" is the rebirth...

Not sure how I feel about that. Does Kanye have a God complex?

Remember Ghost Writer?

2008-02-14T08:05:00.004-05:00

I used to love this show. Yes, the acting was bad & the plots were terrible; but it was still that show. Who knew that the father in the show would go on to play a crack addict in a Spike Lee joint and become the highest paid actor of all-time? Props to Carah for the memory.

Ignorance: "...AND YES I THINK THEY DESERVE TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL! MOTHERFUCKA!"

Blu & Exile: Hip Hop's Best Kept Secret

2008-02-12T08:17:00.000-05:00

Meet Blu. The above track is entitled "Cold Hearted."

I found out about this guy Blu back in December. I was reading a review on a hip-hop site proclaiming this to be the best album of 2007. When I hear things like that about a rap album, I usually take it with a grain of salt--because even Ying-Yang Twinz swore their last album was a classic. I gotta say, though, that this album takes me back to 90's hip-hop where the beats were smooth and the lyrics were actually lyrics.

If you're a real hip-hop head that appreciated the golden years of hip-hop (circa '94) you'll probably enjoy this music. Check out the review of his album below, courtesy of hiphopdx.com.

-------------------------------------------------------

As I sat down to write this review I coincidentally got an instant message concerning this exact album I’m about to let you all know about.

random_dude: YO! Have you heard this Blu & Exile album?
shake: oddly enough I just sat down to write up this review
random_dude: That’s what’s up! I can’t believe how dope this is! Blu is so talented, I love the fact that he’s not afraid to be so personal with his rhymes.
shake: amazing emcee indeed...
random_dude: Easily one of my favorite albums of the year!

Not that anyone really cares what some random person on my buddy list had to say about an album that sadly not enough people will hear (hopefully I’m wrong) but his thoughts and mine are definitely one in the same…

Hailing from the West Coast; emcee Blu was raised on the likes of Public Enemy and N.W.A. thanks to his father; later gravitating towards Common, Mos Def & Talib Kweli (Black Star) and Black Thought (The Roots). It’s clear that the above artists were in the 22-year-old emcee’s mental tape deck while he was perfecting his craft. Blu is an extremely talented lyricist; clever rhymes, technically sound, intensely personal and witty. Add this to the fact that the entire album is produced by Exile (one half of the slept on duo Emanon) and you are in for a rousing eargasm reminiscent of that classic 90’s sound that so many people bitch and moan about missing and saying that it’s nonexistent. It’s there (I promise) you just have to dig a bit deeper than you used to.

The album begins with The Dells sampled My World Is… which acts as Blu’s chance to introduce himself properly with lines like “I don’t pack stadiums yet, I still rock em/ and they still spell my name fucked up on they flyers, it’s B-L-U/ and if you see the E, drop em/ it’s like they droppin E from the beats E is droppin/ got you peeps eavesdroppin/ and the world keeps watchin him.” Next up is the lead single, The Narrow Path. After giving this song a few listens I’m convinced that Blu is far beyond an artist that only has flow and hot lines. Containing one of the many sung hooks (and doing it well, unlike others you may know of … *cough* no need to name *cough*) he speaks on the struggle an artist goes through within, (“I’m trying to tell my folks that flowin ain’t easy/ I’m driving down this yellow brick road until it frees me/ I need a pen, I need a pad, I need a place to go/ to get this shit lifted up off of my soul”).

“I got a call from my girl last week/ she telling me about that time of the month, and hot it may not come/ dropped the phone right before she said we have a son/ and I started asking God ‘how come?’/ I got dreams I ain’t reached yet/ aim’s I ain’t meet yet/ when it comes to being a man, shit, I’m barely getting my feet wet/ trying to hit reset, knee deep in debt/ trying to figure out how to feed a mouth that ain’t got teeth yet.” Even if you haven’t been in that situation you can’t help but feel emotionally attached to what he is saying. That is a talent that very few artists possess. Blu’s ability to be as personal as he is with his music leaves the listener with no choice but to relate. From his struggles of holding down his family by working two jobs; lady troubles (First Things First, Greater Love); and unexpected parenthood (Good Life, see above) … the confessions pour from this man’s soul and are laid beautifully over Exile’s canvas.

I can’t stress enough that Blu is talented … VERY talented. This actually becomes the ONLY thing wrong with Below the Heavens. The fact that this album is so intimate and set as an autobiographical look into a man’s struggle, there really isn’t a need for guest emcees. Case in point the Ta’raach (together as C.R.A.C. Knucks) featured Juicen’ Dranks. If I had heard this song at any other time or on another album it wouldn’t be that bad. But for this album, it sticks out like a nun wearing a mini skirt and red lip stick. And while Exile does a really nice job on the production front, it isn’t always that good. Blu definitely steals the show everytime.

While “keeping it real” seems to be the “cool” thing to do with most rappers, Blu does this simply because he wants his story to be heard. Comfortable enough in his own skin, he lays it ALL out there … not just concentrating on the extremes. I still feel I haven’t done this album justice but it’s impossible to include all the gems that are pouring from my speakers without writing a 10 page review. So just know: after hearing Below the Heavens I’d be damned if anyone still spells his name wrong on the flyers...

It’s B-L-U.

Shut Up, Ni**a

2008-02-11T16:17:00.000-05:00

Look... I'm all about artistry and free speech and all that. And I even convinced myself that maybe Nas had something to say w/ his new album, Nigger. I'm not so sure about that now. His soliloquy of nothingness in this clip solidifies that he's just trying to be controversial to sell records. Shit is bizarre.

Throwback: Why Men Hate Valentine's Day

2008-02-06T23:53:00.000-05:00

Before I get into the "why," I think it's important to talk about the origins of this day.

There are conflicting beliefs as to how Valentine's Day has become the holiday that we know it to be. What we know for sure is that a martyred Christian by the name of St. Valentine was stoned, clubbed and beheaded on February 14, 269 A.D. for refusing to denounce Christianity in ancient Rome. Legend has it that before he was killed, he wrote a love letter to a prison guard's daughter who had befriended him from jail. He supposedly signed the letter, "With love from your Valentine," thus spawning the catch phrase.

All of this took place the day before the annual Lupercalia (Latin for "wolf") festival, where young women put their names in jars to be drawn by young men. Once the names were drawn, the new couples were obligated to "date" each other for the day. Of course by "date" I mean predatory sex--hence the "wolf" chasing the prey.

Once Christianity became popular, the Lupercalia festival was replaced by a more wholesome festival designed to honor Christian Saints. The festival was renamed after St. Valentine to remember his sacrifice.

In short, the history of the holiday comprises beatings, torture, martyrdom and sexual enslavement.

In the early 1800's the holiday was revived and a new version, fusing the two festivals, was created complete with chocolate, flowers, cards and other arbitrary items designed to boost sales in the retail industry...

Sooooo... back to the point of this post. Why men hate Valentine's Day...

To a lot of men, Valentine's Day seems like a re-enactment of St. Valentine's death at the hands of our significant other, only it is our jobs to play Michael J. Fox's character in Back 2 the Future and prevent our/St. Valentine's death by bringing a suitable peace offering to our captor. If the gift is not acceptable, all Hell breaks loose.

Think about it... every man knows that if he comes home empty-handed, or if he brings home an inexpensive gift (I despise the word "cheap") to his lady, he's going to pay the price one way or another: whether it be through withheld sex, arguing, and if you are a drama-prone couple, probably a little domestic violence--with Ike eating the cake, not Tina...

On the flipside, the REAL downer is that if he does bring home an acceptable gift it is not fully appreciated because it is simply expected. Of course she will say "Thank You for the [generic] flowers and candy" and you may even get some that night; but in reality she's happy and thankful, not because of the romanctic gesture in itself and not because she is surprised by your thoughtfulness, sponteneity, and kindness. She is truly thankful because 1) She's happy that she's not one of the "losers" that didn't get ANYTHING and 2) she does not have to curse you out for forgetting. Peace is maintained... for the night.

...and for those women that didn't get a damn thing, it further widens the gap between the sexes to the point where some of those women are bitter at ALL men in general. They end up feeling undesirable, unwanted, and unsexy: all of which factor into their future interactions with men.

After hearing both sides of the disgust for this holiday by men and women alike, I came to see Valentine's Day for what it is: a third-rate marketing holiday (after Christmas and Halloween) — a cheap, commercial parody of romance designed to foster greed and disappointment (in women) and guilt and resentment (in men).

Partly, that's because of some basic differences between the sexes. Most women I know couldn't forget about the existence of February 14 even if they wanted to, regardless of whether they happen to be alone or in a couple.

Most dudes, on the other hand, wake up on February 14 thinking, "Oh Shit! I haven't gotten my girl a card yet!" In fact, I read some study that estimated that roughly 86% of men don't think ahead when it comes to Valentine's Day. Why? Because we think it's a stupid holiday... up until the day of--at which point we know that if we don't get her something, we'll get our asses handed to us come night time. So there we are after work standing in line at the florist, or Harris Teeter (depending on your budget), to buy some flowers...

Moreover, Valentine's Day creates required expectations of men for something that should be spontaneously romantic. I would much rather rub my lady's feet and bring home flowers and candy to her after she's had a rough week on a random day in April than to conform to the expectation of Valentine's Day. To me, being romantic on Valentine's Day is forced and not genuine. To me, and to a lot of men, it cheapens love.

Regardless, your boy WILL be standing in line to buy flowers on every February 14th for his wife after he's married. I'm rational... but I'm not stupid! I refuse to re-enact St. Valentine's death. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-it!

Pre-Valentine's Day Reality: No Man. No Plans. No Worries.

2008-02-05T02:53:00.000-05:00

by Carah Herring

T-minus 10 days til Valentine’s.

For the first time since high school, Cupid’s lil’ half-naked @ss has neglected me.

Bloody bastard (in my faux British accent, accessorized with a fist-shake)!

I’m nearly certain that I won’t have a special someone to cuddle and canoodle with on this year’s over-commercialized holiday of love. Nah, I don’t need any violins to play a ‘woe-is-me’ symphony as I vent. I’m not complaining… well, not that much, anyway. >>Sheepish laugh<< Honestly, I could easily dial a couple numbers in my phone book and make it happen: dinner, a movie and whatever else that I so choose afterward.

But I’m so over it.

To put it another way, I’m not in the mood to be bothered by guys that I’m not genuinely feeling (or who aren’t genuinely feeling ME) – especially on Valentine’s Day. Though nothing beats a complimentary gourmet meal; being wined and dined on such a lovey-dovey occasion would make the casual association seem deeper than it really is. I’m not even interested in going through the motions of a relationship if it’s not a bona fide relationship.

I guess I’m really on my grown woman ish, because in College… Wooo! I was pressed. At this point a couple years ago, my mind would be racing right about now, evaluating my prospects, contemplating who would have the HONOR of taking me out on the 14th. If I didn’t have a hot date on Valentine’s, I’d label myself a certified cornball. And trust, after fighting my way up the social ranks throughout my youth, going back to ‘Lame-O’ status was NOT an option.

It’s 2008 – the year of new beginnings. I don’t feel the need to exert this much energy about the matter anymore. If I’m boo’d up, great! If not, it doesn’t make me a loser. It just means that me and a guy on my level haven’t crossed paths yet. Or if we HAVE crossed paths, we haven’t recognized each other’s worth and made a deep connection as of yet. No sweat.

I know some of y’all may be laughing at me right about now. “This chick is up here writing all these articles with advice about love, relationships, snatching the cat back and finding Mr. Right – yet she can’t get a man.”

Let’s clarify some things here: First of all, my unattached state of being is 100% by choice. After years of making not-so-great dating decisions, I’d prefer to be alone rather than dealing with someone who’s full of crap. I used to dig the excitement of a little drama… but now it doesn’t amuse me as much. Actually, it irks me. Give me a glass – scratch that – a BOTTLE of wine and a good novel instead. Secondly, I’ve gleaned my knowledge on dating through experience. So my articles are from the rib – not from speculation or theories. It’s based on real life.

And speaking of real life, let me share what I’ve got going on at the moment: I take a “Personal Finance” class at NC State on Monday nights, and a ballet class on Tuesdays at a local dance studio. Bible study is on Wednesdays and I’m a mentor to a 15-year-old girl. I try to hit the club/ bar/ soiree one day during the weekend so I can let my hair down (well, the little bit that I have. Lol!). Then there’s church on Sunday, where I’ve started ‘Children’s Church’ for the little ones ages 6 and under. Not to mention, I work a couple of side hustles in addition to my 8 to 5 gig to sustain my life$tyle.

Is this to say I’m too busy for a man? Never that, hun! But it shows that I don’t have time to sit at home, crying because I’m single or fretting over the sobering statistics that 70% of black women are unmarried. In spite of the negativity, I’m living a fulfilling, satisfying life.

This is supposed to be the section where I preach, ‘ladies, you don’t need no man! Make yourself happy! Pay your own bills! Buy your own jewelry! Wave your vibrators in the air like you just don’t care!’ – bashing the fellas for being trifling and representing girl power to the fullest.

But that’s not my point (though vibrators are a beautiful thing and buying your own bling is oh-so-liberating. Try it!). I love men, flaws and all, and I definitely love love. I’m a sucker for love… but I’m no fool. So that’s my point: don’t be a fool on Valentine’s just because you don’t want to feel like a loser.

I mean, if there’s a guy who you’re digging – you shouldn’t have to twist his arm or do the Bojangles to get a nice outing. He should want to do it, and he shouldn’t have to be asked, begged or coerced into doing so.

If you don’t have a boo for Valentine’s Day, it’s not the end of the world. Don’t mope around, agonizing your no-man-having-situation like you’re undesirable.

But hell, let’s be real: maybe you ARE undesirable. If you’ve never had a significant other, maybe it’s because:
(a) You don’t like to go out (I’m not just talking about the club – but anywhere besides a restaurant to feed your face or the movies)
(b) You can’t fathom the idea of going out ---GASP--- alone
(c) You go out with an entourage sooo deep, a guy isn’t even going to approach you because his every move will be observed, heckled and dissected by your crew
(d) You turn down and find fault with every guy that steps to you.
(e) You look a hot mess because you don’t take pride in your personal appearance
(f) You give it up too quick. You have sex with a man before he gets to know who you are and what you’re all about.

But you know what, hun? That’s a whole ‘nother article in itself. So I'll hush for now.

I hope your Valentine’s Day is looking more eventful than mine. I look forward to seeing all the cute Facebook photo albums documenting the various romantic dates and outings – and possibly even a marriage proposal or two. At this point, my plans will probably consist of going to work and then packing my bags for the NBA All Star Weekend – since I’ll be heading down to New Orleans the following morning for basketball players, Belvedere and Bourbon Street. Woo-hoo!

I was hoping to take my grandmother out for dinner, but she already has plans with her boo. How ironic.

Love Always…

C

Honey

2008-02-03T12:09:00.000-05:00

9th Wonder on the beat... Nu Amerykah drops Feb. 26... Support good music.

Throwback: Avoiding Parenthood

2008-01-28T19:14:00.000-05:00

This video is funny. When I saw it, I laughed and even found myself rooting for the guy that she brought onto the show to be tested. But then I started thinking about the consequences of her situation and the fatherless child that is the real victim. It hits close to home. It seems like most black children these days grow up without a father in their lives.

Even though the woman in the above clip played herself, good men take responsibility for the children they father. If they get a woman pregnant, they do the right thing: They stand by her. They support their child. They don't try to weasel out of a situation they co-authored. They shoulder the obligations of fatherhood, even if they hadn't planned on becoming a father.

Once upon a time, men confronted with news of an unintended pregnancy knew what was expected of them. Often they married the woman who was carrying their child; for those tempted to behave irresponsibly, society devised the shotgun wedding. Women, too, knew what was expected of them. They tended to be very careful about sex. If they didn't always wait until they were married, they waited for a relationship that seemed to be marriage-bound.

It wasn't a perfect system, and it didn't guarantee perfect happiness, but on the whole it was realistic: It recognized that sex has consequences. It bound men to the women they impregnated and made sure that a child had a father, as well as a mother.

But the old code was swept away by the Sexual Revolution. With the Pill and easy abortion came the illusion of sex without consequences. Pregnancy could be avoided or readily undone. Men didn't have to marry women they impregnated; women didn't have to reserve themselves for men who were committed or whose intentions were honorable. With the devaluation of sex came the devaluation of fatherhood. Men got used to the idea of sex without strings. So did women, many of who also got used to the idea of motherhood without husbands. Government helped, too, mandating welfare benefits for unmarried moms, and child-support checks from "deadbeat dads." With the incentives for marriage weaker than ever, more and more children were born out of wedlock. In 1950, just 4 percent of births were to unmarried mothers. By 1980, the rate was more than 18 percent. It stands today at nearly 36 percent. All this is bad enough.

Then, last March, came Matt Dubay with a proposal to make things worse.

A 25-year-old computer programmer in Michigan, Dubay asked the question why it is only women who have "reproductive rights." He is upset about having to pay child support for a baby he never wanted. He claimed that not only did his former girlfriend know he didn't want children, she had also told him she was infertile. When she got pregnant, nonetheless, he asked her to get an abortion or put the baby up for adoption. She decided instead to keep her child and secured a court order requiring him to pay $500 a month in support.

He didn't think that was fair. His ex-girlfriend chose to become a mother. It was her choice not to have an abortion, her choice to carry the baby to term, her choice not to have the child adopted. She even had the option, under the "baby safe haven" laws most states have enacted, to simply leave her newborn at a hospital or police station. Roe v. Wade gives her and all women the right--the constitutional right--to avoid parenthood and its responsibilities. Dubay argued that he should have the same right, and filed a federal lawsuit last year that his supporters are calling "Roe v. Wade for men." Drafted by the National Center for Men, it contends that as a matter of equal rights, men who don't want a child should be permitted, early in pregnancy, to get "a financial abortion" releasing them from any future responsibility to the baby.

Does Dubay have a point? Of course. Contemporary American society does send very mixed messages about sex and the sexes. For women, the decision to have sex is the first of a series of choices, including the choice to abort a pregnancy - or, if she prefers, to give birth and collect child support from the father. For men, legal choices end with the decision to have sex. If conception takes place, he can be forced to accept the abortion of a baby he wants - or to spend at least the next 18 years turning over a chunk of his income to support a child he didn't want.

All true. But it is also true that predatory males have done enormous damage to American society, and the last thing our culture needs is one more way for men to escape accountability for the children they father. Dubay wants more than the freedom to be sexually reckless - he wants that freedom to be constitutionally guaranteed. Truly he is a child of his time, passionate on the subject of rights and eager to duck responsibility.

Our culture used to send a clear message to men in Dubay's position: Marry the mother and be a father to your child. Today it tells him: Just write a monthly check. If this law succeeds it won't say even that. The result will NOT be a fairer, more equal society. It will be a society with even more abortion, even more exploitation of women, even more of the destructiveness and instability caused by fatherlessness--especially in the black community.

And, in some ways saddest of all, even more people like this Matt Dubay guy: a boy who never learned how to be a man.

Banned Boondocks Episode

2008-01-25T10:41:00.000-05:00

This is a clip of the Boondocks episode that BET pushed to have banned from the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming. Watch it while it lasts. I'm sure You Tube will be taking it down soon.

I Have A Dream...

2008-01-22T13:28:00.000-05:00

We've all done it. We've attended events and dipped in and out of sleep during a boring speech. Check out this clip of Bill Clinton nodding off during Martin Luther King's son's speech at an MLK celebration in Atlanta.

Notice how he nods in agreement as he wakes up to smoothly disguise sleeping. Also, check how he slickly checks his watch as he thinks..."C'mon nigga... you gotta wrap this up."

Those damn Clintons.

Finding Mr. Right

2008-01-19T14:32:00.000-05:00

Here's another post from our friend Carah Herring urging women to get it together before prejudging potential partners.

----------------------------------------------

Our dealings with our three-legged counterparts can sometimes be a hot mess, provoking us to rant, rave, hoot and holler about the fellas.

“Men are dogs!”
“N------ ain’t sh-t!”
“__(fill in your own vile generalization about the male species)__!”

Sadly, the above comments appropriately describe some individuals you and I both know. Not all men of course, but definitely more than a little bit. Lol. As the pickings seemingly get slimmer and slimmer, we often wonder ‘did Prince Charming die out with the Jheri Curl?’ I mean, damn!

Many of you have shared how you now go beyond the club scene more and more in order to bump into Mr. Right: hitting up bookstores, cafés, church (well, you should be going here anyway!), art showings, parks and taking various classes -- but no dice. The men who are certified good catches are either playas, in a relationship, married, gay or frankly, not cute.

Sheesh, are there ANY good men left out here, y’all?

Before I answer that, let’s do a quick exercise:

Take about 30 seconds to a minute and list the attributes that you’d want in your dream man: Career. Personality. Education. Income. Hobbies. Height. Weight.

Don’t keep reading – make your list. Go ahead. Do it, babe!
*
*
*
*
*
*

Finished with your list?

Now, of all of the qualities that you jotted down, how many of these criteria do YOU possess? Do YOU earn $50K+ with your fantabulous job? Are YOU well-traveled? Are YOU flawlessly in shape? Do YOU have a good relationship with God and go to church consistently? Are YOU patient and understanding? Do YOU have a great sense of humor? Are YOU runway-ready 24/7?

So 9 times out of 10, we make these lofty demands for Mr. Right, when we are nowhere near being Ms. Right. How can you expect and accept nothing less than perfect from someone else, when you can’t even hold a candle to the standard? (Well, okay, the ‘hold a candle to’ comment was a bit much, but you catch my drift.)

So in your quest for a good man, step your game up and bring more to the table than a stylish outfit and decent conversation. Know what you’re looking for – but be flexible, because, hey, we’re all human.

Over the years, many of us have found quite a few Mr. Rights – men who will do ANYTHING for us (not out of desperation, but out of love and genuine concern). But for whatever reason, he just isn’t Mr. Right Now. We don’t give him the time of day because he’s not fine enough, rich enough, tall enough, muscular enough, educated enough or hung enough (keeping it real).

If you are always finding yourself in situations with Mr. Wrong, maybe, just maybe, YOU are the problem. I mean – you’re the common denominator throughout your personal dramas. Perhaps you prefer the exciting and fast-paced emotional roller coaster of bullsh-t men over the steady, not as eventful stability of a real man.

We as women have got to change the way we date – getting away from chasing the superficial things and really looking at the heart. And of course we have to snatch the cat back (but I’ve already preached my sermon on that topic!)

If you’re not ready to nix the superficiality, then don’t fake the funk. Be honest with yourself regarding your intentions in dating. Are you really trying to build a relationship with a man, or is your guiding M.O:

** The paper chase: “Where dem dollas at?”
** The quest for d-ck ‘that will make you slap somebody’: YouTube zany ATLien Alexyss Taylor for more info
** The ‘half a man is better than no man at all’ mentality: After being single for so long, you'll kick it with ANYBODY to zap your boredom

My longest and greatest relationship to date was with a brotha that worked at Mickey D’s. The McDonald’s fry boy, y’all. We met on a blind double date during my sophomore year of college. Though he was the sweetest guy, I had an image to maintain – and being involved with a Dollar Menunaire was NOT helping the cause. Nevertheless, we continued to kick it pretty consistently as friends because he was really cool and I loved spending time with him.

Well, about 3 months later, he invited me to a Super Bowl party at his Uncle’s house. I really didn’t feel like going to some cramped spot with a bunch of people I didn’t know to watch the big game, but what the heck. I didn’t have any other plans, so I decided to go. After making the 1.5 hour trip to his Uncle’s spot, I couldn’t believe my eyes. We pulled up to a humongous mansion that was at least four times the size of my house easily.

“THIS is your uncle’s house?” I asked, in total shock.
“Yeah,” he said nonchalantly.
“What does he DO to afford a house of this size?”
“My family owns McDonald’s franchises.”

I had to laugh at myself. My friend was modest and didn’t feel it was necessary to make it known that his fam was rich. He just casually commented that he worked for the Golden Arches. And I’m sure numerous women had immediately written him off by taking that statement at face value.

Now is this to say, my boy was Mr. Right because he turned out to be financially loaded? No, though it was a nice surprise. The moral of the story is that sometimes Mr. Right may not come in the package that we expect. But ladies, we have to be mature and courageous enough to give him a chance – even if he’s not our ideal. I’m not saying to settle – just don’t be so quick to ‘next’ someone before you know what they’re truly about.

So are there any good men left out here? YES!

Now here’s the real Q: Are you woman enough to give Mr. Right a chance?

=============================================
Special thanks and appreciation this go'round to Brandi Howard, Sharese Shannon, Kenneth Manning Jr and Tasha Holland

***Disclaimer: No, I don’t think I’m Iyanla Vanzant, Jr. or the Official Facebook Relationship Expert. However, after several wins and losses in the world of dating, I’ve gained a lil’ wisdom and feel inclined to share. And judging from the volume of responses I’ve received from my first note, it seems like many of y’all can relate to the same issues I’ve been through… So whenever a relationship or intimate connection doesn’t work out, identify the lesson and then share your newfound knowledge with others ;o)

Crown Royal On Ice

2008-01-15T20:19:00.000-05:00

I had no idea that Jill Scott was a freak, but I'm glad she is. This joint is hot fire.

... On with the baby-making!

The Ghetto Hokey Pokey

2008-01-10T23:21:00.000-05:00

She's facing forward. I'm pressed closely against her. Our bodies fit snugly together. My arms are wrapped around her. As I rest my chin gently on her shoulder, I look down and notice that the melting ice in my drink is starting to blend with the vodka and tonic. Her fragrance is intoxicating. The DJ has taken us back to the late 90's and is playing "So Anxious" by Ginuwine. We're both drunk off the moment. As I part my lips to whisper in her ear...

!!!SCCCRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHCCCCCCCHHHHH!!!

*boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom*

All of a sudden she runs from my grasp and joins the others as they congregate on the dance floor. Dammit! They got 'er! It looks like a scene from Thriller. They're all salivating. Their eyes turn red. I swear a nigga's arm falls off RIGHT on the dance floor. A 70-year old rotting zombie woman crawls from under the DJ booth.

I scream in terror as my ears start bleeding when the guy on the record starts spewing instructions: "To the lef, to the lef, to the lef, to the leeeeeefffff!" Shrieks of laughter fill the room as the zombies dance in unison.

...OK, I took this a little far, but seriously...what's up with all these damn instructional songs? The Electric Slide, the Cha Cha Slide, the Cupid Shuffle, the Mr. Bojangles...

Every couple years, somebody gets the genius idea to put out one of these songs and reap handsome monetary rewards. IT'S THE SAME SHIT! WAKE UP PEOPLE! THERE'S NO DIFFERENCE! THERE'S NO DIFFERENCE! THERE'S NO DIFFERENCE! YOU'LL NEVER HEAR FROM DJ Casper AGAIN! WAAAAAAAKKKKEEEE UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! WAAAAAKKKKKEEEEE UPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!! GAMMA!!!

In light of all this, I'm putting out a call for a business partner. If you are interested, please contact me so that we can throw together a couple instructions and make a cheap beat on a Casio keyboard.

So far I've come up with the following lyrics:

Do your foot like thiiiiiisss!/Do your arm like thaaaattt!/ Now jump up and down and cross your legs/ Now walk in a circle/ Now roll around on the floor/ Now centipede with it y'all/ Now everybody clap your hands *clap clap clap clap clap clap*

It's a little rough, but I smell a hit. Please feel free to provide additional lyrics.

In the meantime, check out these brilliant lyrics in two completely different videos by very eclectic artists:

Ignorance: Yes I'm a hater...and yes that was an obscure School Daze reference. GAMMA! Mo' Hate in '08!

Women...Snatching the Cat Back in '08?

2008-01-08T03:17:00.000-05:00

I snatched this from a friend of mine in NC (no pun intended). Carah is urging women to be more careful in rushing into sex w/ men. Mo' hate in '08? Thoughts?

------------------------------------

Has a guy ever hit you with this line: “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now.”

Ouch.

After all the phone conversations, flirty texts on the daily, fun times lounging out at each other’s apartments/condos/houses and passionate nights…and mornings… and afternoons… and weekends – and he’s not ready to commit? WTF?!

“Well, I mean, that’s cool,” some of us manage to mumble with a strained smile and phony nonchalance – realizing that the instead of being ½ of a ‘deep connection’ we thought was so real, ol’ boy viewed us nothing more than a glorified cut buddy. We immediately change the conversation topic to avoid any more embarrassment. Inside we’re both hurting and fuming.

Perhaps you’ve been in a situation where the man wants an open relationship or insists on ‘taking it slow.’ Or if your boy is really bold, maybe he ‘doesn’t believe in titles.’

>Excuse me while I roll my eyes in the worst way<

Ladies, it’s time that we stop going for the pathetic okeydoke and stop falling prey to the lame @ss excuses from the menfolk. In the words of the unforgettably raunchy rapper Khia, it’s time to SNATCH THE CAT BACK (Should I really be quoting the chick who’s biggest – and only– solo hit was, “My Neck, My Back”? Well, that’s besides the point…)

Men get sex too often and too easily nowadays. The ‘chase’ is practically non-existent, as many of us lay down with guys waaa-aaay too soon. Why? Because:
*** He looks good
*** He has $$$ and we want him to keep spending
*** He took us out one time and now we want to show our appreciation
*** We want him to continue to like us or like us more
*** We’re lonely
*** _____________ (fill in your own reason)

In speaking to various male friends, picking their brains on this subject for the sake of all female-kind, I’ve been schooled that if a man can get it too easily, he’ll lose interest quickly. I know, I know -- it's not a major bombshell or discovery, but it's a fact that we all too often forget in our 'Sex and the City'-esque lives.

Now of course in the heat of the moment, men will dispute this claim vehemently. Does this sound familiar: “My last girlfriend and I had sex on the first date” or “We’re adults – if we both want to, what’s the problem?”

Indeed, you are an adult and have the freedom to do whatever the heck you want. But don’t be mad when the situation at the beginning of this note plays out time and time again.

Women, listen closely: We have a lot more control with men than we think we do.

So make him WAIT. Make him WORK FOR IT. Make him EARN IT. Go OUT on DATES (clarification: a ‘date’ is not watching DVDs at his crib every other night). Challenge him to get to know you as an individual outside the bedroom first – your likes, dislikes, hobbies, quirks, dreams and aspirations.

Will this guarantee commitment? ABSOLUTELY NOT. However, you’ll see what the guy is all about. And if he doesn’t stick around after the second date because you’re not an easy lay, well f--- ‘em (no, not literally!). And the guys that are willing to wait are quite possibly fellas we should take seriously.

SNATCH THE CAT BACK!

Let’s stop playing ourselves, ladies. That’s why some of y’all are putting ‘it’s complicated’ in the relationship status box of your FB pages. He’s getting it on the regular. You’re confused about where y’all stand couple-wise. And he’s content with the undefined arrangements.

I know this sounds totally ‘after school special’-ish and similar to a part of somebody’s mama’s ‘Birds and the Bees’ schpiel, but there’s truth to it. I’m not being prude or corny. I’m been 100% honest, having learned this lesson from life experiences, guy friends and numerous homegirls who have confided in me, confused and distraught because their boo wouldn’t commit.

So let’s elevate in 2008.

Lock it down ladies, and see the results. Not only will you move up from booty call status, you’ll get some nice dinners and movies out of the deal. Lol. We have the ‘p’, and though we seem to forget, ‘p’ is a very powerful thing.

Is it difficult? Yup – but there are ways to cope: vibrators, flicks and Zane, to name a few (hey, a sista is just being real). Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying it’s wrong to give it up. Just make sure you are giving it up on YOUR terms, not his.

Snatch the cat back y’all, and I guarantee you’ll be treated like the Queen that you know you are by a KING... not given the run around by a wannabe PLAYA.

I'm Back Bitches!

2008-01-04T12:34:00.000-05:00

My holiday was off the hook! How was yours? I'll be posting later this afternoon if anyone still reads this blog & cares. Hope you're well. In the meantime, check out this new video from Child Rebel Soldiers (Lupe, Kanye and Pharrell).

Here It Is...

2007-12-27T22:23:00.000-05:00

The cover of the long-awaited album from Nas. I think Nas might pull this off. From the cover it looks like he is saying that regardless of how accomplished you may be... you get the picture. Look for this release to hit stores during Black History Month.

The Magic Number

2007-12-23T14:38:00.000-05:00

At some point in any new relationship, the most awkward of questions inevitably comes up. No, it's not "Will you pee on me?" (shout out to Kels!) or the classic "What are we doing?" (If you have to ask...). It's a question far worse, a question that has the potential to turn a solid, new relationship into a shaky one. That question is... "How many people have you slept with?" Damn! THE question! The question that, for some, is a defining point in their relationship.

There's only one problem, though: It seems like nobody ever tells the truth. As a man, I can say that it may be easier for us to admit to the truth due to "the double standard," but even men lie about their numbers in some instances to make the number more acceptable to the woman they're dating. A man that has slept with over 50 women may be a little reluctant to tell the truth to a woman who he considers his potential wife. That number may be trimmed down to 20 to 25. On the flipside, a man that hasn't had much experience with women and may have only had 3 or 4 partners may inflate that number to around 10 so that the woman he's dating won't think that he's a lame in the bedroom.

Even still, for men, more sexual partners means more sexual prowess and is more accepted in our society than it is for women...

Which explains why women are more reluctant to enter into sexual episodes than men. The weight that comes with "the number" is 100x heavier for women. They wear it like the Scarlett Letter. So fellas don't get mad when you try to spit game and she tells you to get the hell on! Either she's really not interested or she's testing you to make sure that you're worth potentially getting added to that unkind list. There is, after all, a reputation factor to consider. When that rep is damaged, it will be harder for her to find a man willing to marry her.

While women may be more willing to accept a man's sexual past on the way to marriage, you will find few men willing to marry a woman that has had an extremely large number of partners, as unfair as that may be.

I've had this honest conversation with females and most concur that they usually lie to some degree. There's a very complex system for some women that determines which ones counted and which didn't. This process of denial includes such things as not including guys who didn't last long, who were assholes, who were too small, one-night stands etc. Before you know it 50% of their past never happened; but should it matter? Should a new relationship be based on skewed numbers? Should it be a don't ask, don't tell thing?

Though I am a staunch protestor of dating Karrinne Steffans I personally think that playing Sudoku to help determine who you should be with isn't a good look. If you are confident that past behavior is past behavior you shouldn't let a number keep you from a good thing. I mean go get tested first, but after that, you shouldn't let a number keep you from a good thing. To quote the great philospher Cliffor "Tip" Harris:

"I've been told every nigga in the streets know she nothin' but a freak ho/when I look in her pretty eyes I don't see it though/Now she done showed me some things that I ain't seen before/but what we do behind closed doors is for me to know/...I done wasted plenty time contemplating, second-guessing, procrastinating, I'm gonna buy a ring and pop the question..."

F*** Shakespeare!

Ike Turner's Eyes and Other Ike Turner Reflections

2007-12-20T00:06:00.000-05:00

Gene is back! In this post he wrestles with the loss of Ike Turner and Ike's impact on his life.

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I was 12, when Angela Bassett and Laurence Fishburne starred in “What’s Love Got To Do With It.” At that time, I knew very little about Tina Turner outside of the song with the same title and can’t remember if I actually saw the film in a theatre, but I do remember being interested in the tale shortly after hearing about it.

My early childhood was pretty much spent listening to gospel and soul music from the 60s and 70s – which probably explains my not so mild interest in 80s music now (and to a lesser extent 90s music). And biographies and memoirs – especially of black people and entertainers – have always interested me more than any other type of book, so this movie was pretty much right up my alley.

So I saw the film. Loved it. Saw it a few more times. Unconsciously became a big fan of Angela Bassett. Read the book that the movie was based on. And became a bit terrified.

Between being somewhat fascinated by him and his story, I developed a bit of fear of Ike Turner.

The summer the movie came out was my first summer staying at home alone. I was too old for camp and not old enough for a job … officially. (Of course, I later discovered that there are camps for all people regardless of their age and that I could have worked somewhere, just not legally.)

Anyway, I don’t recall my parents giving me many “rules” about staying home alone beyond making sure the lights were off in rooms when I wasn’t in them. The placement of windows in our house meant that most of the house would be dark even during the day. I’m not scared of the dark. I never have been. But for some reason, every time I’d try to go up the stairs to the second floor – which was pitch black – I always saw Ike Turner's eyes illuminating through the darkness at the top of the steps. Not Laurence Fishburne’s eyes. IKE’S eyes. They were piercing. And druggish. Remember Scar’s eyes in "The Lion King" shortly after he killed Mufasa? Mix those eyes with Dave Chappelle’s eyes when he dresses up as Prince. Yes, THOSE eyes.

And Ike was tall when I saw him standing behind the banister. Like 5’ 11” tall, which was tall to me back then before I went to college and met 6 foot 5 18-years-olds.

I seriously tried not to be scared. Even then the thought of it was comical. Plus I KNEW Ike Turner wasn’t on the second floor. I wasn’t crazy. But I was very cautious. I seriously kept seeing dude’s eyes. Weirder things have happened, right? RIGHT?

I don’t know what I was scared of. Did I think Ike would beat me? I mean the pictures in Tina’s autobiography showed that Ike was real skinny, so I knew I could take him out if I had to, but then again, I’d never been in a fight … and uh, clearly Ike had, so I wasn’t so sure.

I don’t remember when my Ikenophobia passed, but it did. But my interest in Ike and Tina’s story didn’t. It faded, but I usually watched the film anytime I got a chance.

Fast forward more than ten years.

Either in 2004 and 2005, I was flying from Kansas City to Raleigh through Cincinnati and who had the nerve to be in the food court at the airport?! Ike freakin Turner!!! No lie. I wish I had the words to describe everything I was feeling, but I don’t. Disbelief would be the best word.

Disbelief on soooo many levels.

Ike was short. I mean like 5’ 5” short. And that man had a high top fade. A high top fade in 2004 or 2005. The chick he was with had on a wig that was easily bigger than Tina’s early 80s joint. I was like, are these people serious? Yeah, they were. Ike looked like he was totally unaware that people were gawking. Everybody else around me was staring and seemed as shocked as me. Ike freakin Turner was at the Panda Express. Ok, I can’t remember if he was actually at the Panda Express, but you know what I’m saying …

Then I got mad. At myself.

I haven’t been 5’5” since probably late elementary school. How did I let some concocted image of this dude scare me? And then I felt sad, because unless Tina is shorter than 5’5”, which is very possible, it showed how much of a mind game domestic violence is, because she probably could have taken that dude. I mean she DID take that dude, when she made up her mind that she wasn’t going to take no more.

So I kept staring and did what I do whenever I witness hilarious tomfoolery: I called my little brother. And then I got on the plane.

Fast forward last week.

When I saw the Yahoo! News “breaking news” banner announcing Ike’s death, I just let out a “LAWWWD!” Not quite the jump-in-the-casket funeral Lawd. I mean, I was at work. But the ain’t-this-some-ish type. And then I called my little brother again. And dude let out the same type of Lawd. LOL.

And then that fool asked me if Tina was going to sing at the funeral. WHAT?! My brother is a church musician, so he was probably genuinely interested. I told him I thought she would attend given the role Ike played in her career and that he was the father of at least one of her children, but I doubted that she’d sing. I’m not sure that Tina has any funeral songs in her repertoire. I mean, it would be interesting to hear her version of “I Won’t Complain,” but I figured that it probably wasn’t going to happen. And then my brother and I got off the phone.

Fast forward early this week.

Man, Tina said she ain’t even GOING to the funeral! WHAT?!

Her spokesperson said Tina hasn’t seen Ike in 35 years. THIRTY-FIVE YEARS! That shocked me on so many levels. That meant that I – ME – had seen Ike since Tina had last seen him! And while 35 isn’t old, it’s a long time to me. I’m not even 30 yet. And then I got sad.

Ike has called the movie and Tina’s book an exaggeration since they came out and even came out with his own book. And while I wasn’t there, I just don’t believe that Tina is lying about EVERYTHING. I found out yesterday that the character “Jackie” who was at the restaurant when Ike smushed the cake in Tina’s face was a fictional character, so that whole scene could be a lie for all we know. But I believe that most of the book and movie was close to the truth. And that’s when I thought about all that Tina must have gone through. I’m sure that I can’t even imagine it all. To not see someone you once loved and even made a child with for 35 years is serious, regardless of how much they hurt you. I’m not saying she’s right or wrong, I’m just saying that that’s some serious disinterest.

Hopefully Tina is not bitter or still mad and is there for her son right now who may be dealing with the issues that stem from losing a father. But all of this just made me think about how we treat people. And the lasting impact that our mistreatment and disrespect can have on people.

This past year, I've seriously tried to become more mindful of the things I say or do that leave scars. I've failed often. Sometimes, miserably. And I'm sure I can't imagine the damage I've caused. But I'm trying to do better. It would be quite unfortunate if someone I once called my best friend was so done with me that our last goodbye was actually our last goodbye.

Gene also writes for YBPguide.com

LIL' Bow Wow Is A G?

2007-12-18T06:48:00.000-05:00

When did Lil' Bow Wow decide he was gonna be hard? He still makes music for 13-year-olds, right?

Anyway, in this clip Bow Wow flips on journalist Toure' for disrespecting him and singer Omarion during an interview. I can't blame him for standing up for himself in what appears to be a botched joke, but it's funny to me to see dude act like he's about to go to a Walgreens parking lot to pick up some heat for Toure'...as he hides behind one of his lackies and tells his bodyguards to "handle that."

He's ....so....Hoooood...

AND I GOT THESE GOLDS UP IN MY MOUF!

Throwback: Black People Don't Tip

2007-12-18T05:14:00.000-05:00

I'm mainly reposting this because, since I posted it back in May, I am still receiving comments on it regularly--mainly from frustrated, non-black servers. Turns out that if you've had a bad day on the job at a restaurant and type in "Black People Don't Tip" in google to find some sort of support group this post pops up. So you can imagine some of the feedback in the comments section. Check it out.

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...So it's my last day in Las Vegas. It's about 2:36 PM. Me and my remaining two friends fly out in six hours. We check out of our room and make our way to the taxi line in front of the casino. The plan is to grab some grub, check out some casinos that we haven't been in over the last three days, and lose more money on the Big Six table.

Soooo... what do we want to eat? Some place where we can sit down, watch the game, and have a beer... a place that is nice and classy. A place where we'll receive Grade-A service and where they will appreciate our business. A place that is all of these things, yet delightfully tacky. So we head on over to Hooters... yes, I know.

So we hop in the cab.

"Where can I take you guys?"

"The Hooters over by the MGM Grand"

"You got it, boss!" He quickly weaves through the traffic on The Strip and takes us to the front of the Hooters casino, which is literally about three minutes away. We hop out, pay the fare, and tip him 5 or 6 bucks.

We make our way through the dealer tables and slot machines and find the small line to the restaurant. So there we are, waiting to sit down at the tackiest casino on Las Vegas Blvd. (relatively) and dressed the part. Are we in button-ups, slacks and dress shoes like we usually wear? No! We have on polo shirts, jeans and sneakers. Comfortable, like everyone else in this town.

When we get to the front, a beautiful girl in a tacky uniform looks at us, puts on her fakest smile and asks how many in our party.

"Three."

With the smile on her face, she turns to a pretty Black waitress and says "They're all yours Kristen."

"Gee... Thanks!" she replies sarcastically.

This semi-rubbed us the wrong way, but we let it slide. Besides, this is nothing new. Black people don't tip, right? There's no way she would've guessed that the party consisted of a Regional Territory Manager, a Corporate Marketing Specialist, and a federal-employed Electrical Engineer...but should that matter? She takes us to our bench-styled table and asks for our drink order.

"Water and a Corona... Water and a Heineken... Water with a lemon for now, I'll probably get a beer later."

She's off. So me and my boys sit there and start discussing which casinos we're going to hit afterwards and the money that we have already lost thus far (Thanks for the gambling tips guys... you really came through in the clutch! *cough*).

Fifteen minutes of all this talking has my throat parched. I reach down for my... wait... She's still not back with our drinks? We see our waitress tending to another table and get her attention. We make the universal "I'm thirsty motion" and she walks to the back and emerges with a tray of drinks.

Waitress: "Sorry guys... here you are!" No explanation. "So what will you guys be having?"

Us: "Wings... Fingers and salad... The wing platter."

Waitress: "We're out of coleslaw and baked potatoes for that platter," she says to my boy.

My boy: "Well can you substitute fries?"...

Waitress: "No."

*Awkward silence*

My boy: "Oookay?"

Waitress: "Sooo... you want fries with it?"

My boy: "Can you substitute it?"

Waitress: "No... but I'll work it out."

My boy: "OK."

She's off again. For another 20 minutes, we don't see this chick. We came here to watch the game, so we're looking around to see if we can find her to have the channel changed. She's nowhere to be found, so we flag down the hostess that gave Kristen our table to see if she can change the channel. She did so, reluctantly.

A couple minutes later, a waitress that I haven't seen before comes with my salad. After she walks off I realize there's no silverware on our table. I walk over to the hostess to see where I can get a fork. She looks around for Kristen and then says "Ummm...I guess I'll get it for you."

When she comes back to the table with my fork, Kristen is right behind her.

"Kristen," she says playfully as she looks at us with Hooters-flirty eyes. "Your table is demanding. You should be taking care of these guys." She said it jokingly, but she was serious. We were asking her for too much.

Kristen tells us the food is on the way out. It quickly follows, but not by Kristen, but by the cook and another waitress.

Food was good. No Kristen. Drinks low. No Kristen.

Naturally our conversation shifts from the game to our horrible service. Was she just a bad waitress? Was it because we are young, black males (*Smacks down the ol' race card on the table*)? Was she just having a bad day? The "Gee... thanks" comment she made when she got our table kinda cemented our thoughts on the issue.

When we finally see her, it's with the unsplit bill. "Sorry guys, I just got busy all of a sudden," she said as she looked down to avoid eye contact. She tells us she'll take the bill when we're ready. We ask her to split the bill. She didn't even remember what we had ordered individually so she starts looking over the bill and asking us who had what.

Then she pulls out the ol' patented Hooters "let-me-sit-down-and-let-them-flirt-with-me-so-they-will-give-me-a-good-tip" move. We didn't flirt with her. It was awkward. She went to split it.

When we look the bill over, it looks like she charged my boy extra for fries that she had agreed to substitute. He was going to let it slide, but we tell him that the LEAST she could do was make sure that the bill was right. Besides, she hadn't done anything else.

She comes back, he brings up the discrepancy. She tells him that she told him she couldn't substitute. He reminds her that she did say she "would take care of it" and that she would essentially be charging him full price for half of a meal. Annoyed, she smiled, took his receipt and said she'd see what she could do.

She came back with the correct charges. She thanked us and bounced.

We sat there disgusted and disrespected by the lack of good service and started discussing what we should tip her. So there we are having a Rainbow Coalition meeting in Hooters.

We decided that she had made her mind up about the service she was going to give us when she saw us. Of all of her tables, we were obviously the most neglected. After researching stereotypes about tipping habits, the overwhelming majority of waiters and waitresses hate getting black tables because "we don't tip," according to them. Message board after message board characterizes Blacks as cheap tippers and as chronic complainers (which we do apparently because we want to have a reason to not leave a good tip). I've personally seen good and bad tippers across the board.

So herein lies the dilemma: Do we tip her based on the service she gave, which was worth week-old cow dung, or do we tip her like we would normally tip a decent waitress (I usually do 20-25%)?

If we tip her poorly, we buy into the self-fulfilling stereotype. She will feel justified in giving us bad service and will do the same to the next group of casually dressed young, black males--not realizing that we tipped her poorly for a reason and not because we're black.

If we tip her properly, JUST MAYBE we will get the point across that stereotypes are just that...stereotypes. And maybe she will be more conscious of how she treats Black people in the future. If you can reach just one...

We left 8 bucks. Not the best tip, but definitely more than she deserved.

Has anybody else faced this situation? Should we be forced to think in a group mentality and tip on behalf of an entire race? It's getting old. The more I think about it, the more I realize that acting on behalf of your race does little to change ingrained stereotypes.

Does the stereotype have any merit? What would you have done?

When Is Killing Justifiable?

2007-12-14T12:26:00.000-05:00

I just caught wind of this story recently, but a black man from Long Island, NY is still in jail for killing a white kid after a "mob" showed up at his home in the middle of the night to confront his son. Of course, this story is full or racial overtones that made it newsworthy enough for the NY Times to make it a feature story (below).

Apparently Arron White, a 19-year-old black kid, was attending an all-White party when he was confronted by guys claiming that he had threatened to rape a white girl via internet chat nine months prior. According to reports, Aaron and the girl had resolved the issue before the confrontation, and the incident had been chalked up to being a misunderstanding. Supposedly, it was concluded that Aaron never threatened the girl.

Even still, he was asked to leave the party because of the commotion being caused by the accusations. He did so without incident.

After leaving the party, Aaron immediately started receiving threatening phone calls from the guys that had confronted him. According to Aaron, after telling him they were on the way to his house to confront him they called him "nigger" and said things such as "I'm going to f*ck you and your mother." ...

To make a long story short, Aaron woke his father up to tell him what was going on, the guys showed up and Aaron's father "accidentally" shot one of the white kids.

To date, the stories have not been corroborated and it remains the word of Aaron's family against the guys that showed up at his home.

For details on the story read the NY Times excerpt below.

Is there ever a time where it is justifiable to kill someone? The kids didn't have guns, but they were on his property. Does showing up at someones home with intentions on having a confrontation give the owner of that property the moral right to kill them? They were threatening his son, but should Aaron's father have left it in the hands of the authorities? Did the kid deserve to be killed?

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The shooting occurred around midnight of a Wednesday evening during which Mr. White’s son, Aaron, attended a party at an acquaintance’s home in a nearby town. At the party, where the police said there was a lot of drinking, a group of young men, all white, accused Aaron White of having threatened to rape a girl, also white. The threat was said to have been made by e-mail nine months before.

Though he denied making any threat, Aaron White was asked to leave, and did so. A short time later, according to the police, a group of men led by Mr. Cicciaro decided to pursue him. By cellphone, Mr. Cicciaro told him that he and his friends were coming after him, according to the police.

In the interview, Mr. White said he was awakened by his son “from a dead sleep.” The son told him that Mr. Cicciaro and his friends were pursuing him, and why. He said he thought “they were going to kill him,” Mr. White said, adding that Aaron was “more frightened than I had ever heard my son in his life.”

Mr. White said he grabbed a weapon he kept for protection, a handgun he had inherited from a grandfather, Napoleon White, who brought it with him when he left Oneonta, Ala., in the 1940’s for New York. In an unsolicited aside during the interview, Mr. White said his grandfather had left not long after the Klan killed two brothers, both shopkeepers. (The police described the unregistered gun as “an antique.”)

According to both Mr. White and his son, Mr. Cicciaro and his friends used racial slurs when they arrived at his house. The young men later denied it.

Mr. White said he told the men to leave, and that after “a lot of posturing” they seemed to be ready to go, when suddenly Mr. Cicciaro rushed him and grabbed the muzzle of his gun.

Mr. Cicciaro’s friends gave the police a different account. They said Mr. White pointed the gun in the face of each of them, shouting, “I’ll shoot you.” They said Mr. Cicciaro never grabbed the gun but waved it away when it was pointed in his face.

Mr. White said that when he tried to pull away from Mr. Cicciaro’s grasp, the gun went off accidentally. Mr. Cicciaro’s friends told the police that Mr. White simply pulled the trigger at point-blank range.

It was in the frantic 911 call by one of Mr. Cicciaro’s friends, made from a car carrying the mortally wounded teenager to a nearby hospital, that a police tape captured the type of racial invective the Whites said they had heard throughout the confrontation. The cellphone had been left on, and Mr. Cicciaro’s friends were heard using racial profanities as they spoke among themselves, investigators said.

A Suffolk County grand jury indicted Mr. White on gun charges and a single count of second-degree manslaughter, which is a charge of reckless homicide. The police initially charged him with second-degree murder, the intentional killing of Mr. Cicciaro.

In a separate interview, Daniel Cicciaro Sr., a man of medium height with scarred hands from many years of work in auto repairs, seemed almost in pain as he maintained an air of self-control. With his wife, Joanne, sitting beside him on the porch of their home in Port Jefferson, he said: “I want you to know I have no animosity personally or racially toward the White family. I cannot presume to know what was going through his mind at the time he killed my son. But God have mercy on Mr. White.”

Mr. Cicciaro returned again and again to his son’s lack of racial prejudice and the unlikelihood that race played any role in his pursuit of Aaron White. “If going to this guy’s house to beat up his son was seen as some sort of racial attack, my son was so not-racist that the thought would never even have occurred to him,” he said.

He disputed Mr. White’s claim that the shooting was accidental: “If it was an accident, like he says, why didn’t he call the police immediately? He called his lawyer instead. And why does he come out with a loaded gun in the first place?”

During his interview, Mr. White, a tall, thin bespectacled man with thinning hair, spoke with a similarly painstaking deliberateness. He said he had the gun to “protect my family” and told his wife to call the police, but she told investigators she did not hear him.

After the shooting, Mr. White said, he and his wife did not call 911 because they were “in shock.” Since the killing, “I have not slept at all,” he said. “I never think about anything else.” He said he felt “devastated and remorseful” for killing the teenager. “But I thought these guys, this mob, was coming to hurt my child.”

Asked if he saw them as a white mob, Mr. White pondered for a moment. “I saw them as a group of grown men in my driveway. I was scared to death.”

In describing his background, Mr. White placed himself as the second of eight children, and he referred repeatedly and with deep affection to his grandfather, tearing up when describing the family lore about the Klan killings of his great-uncles.

When pressed, Mr. White said he viewed his grandfather’s world and his as different universes. He rejected any notion that he might have perceived what happened in his driveway through the prism of his grandfather’s losses.

“I did not mean to shoot that young man,” he said. “I grieve for his family. I moved out here with my children just like everyone else, to protect them,” he said. “I have never had problems with white people — if I did, why would I have come out here in the first place?”

Mr. Cicciaro said he was “baffled” by a charge of less than murder against a man who “walked 80 feet down his driveway and told these kids he was going to shoot them, and then pulled the trigger.” He said he was “extremely disappointed” in the criminal justice system.

Mr. White said he understood that disappointment, but added that when he picked up his gun, he only meant to “scare those kids off,” he said.

During the interview, he referred several times to his new home as “my dream house.” He recounted how his wife, Sonia, decorated the house with loving attention. “Stickley, Audi in the dining room; Henredon, Baker living room; Kashan rugs, the works,” he said.

They will be leaving that house as soon as they can, Mr. White said.

“I wouldn’t feel comfortable keeping my family here. I know how I would feel if someone hurt my kid,” he said. “There wouldn’t be a rock left to crawl under.”

Brad Pitt... Saving the 9th Ward

2007-12-11T23:31:00.000-05:00

FEMA? Nope. Presidential Candidates? Nah. Neigboring states? Not a chance. Brad Pitt, people. Brad Pitt.

I must say that I'm very impressed with his "Make It Right" campaign to rebuild the lower 9th Ward in The N.O. He moved his family out to New Orleans to focus on the project and has donated $5 million of his own money to put the project together.

What's most impressive is that the goal of the project is not to gentrify the area for investors, but to build nice homes for the minority families that were displaced in the aftermath of Katrina. In addition, Pitt has employed world reknown architects to design seven different home models, which families will be able to choose from once the homes are sponsored and built.

Check out the makeitrightnola.org to view the floor plans and to see how you can purchase fixtures for donation or donate funds directly to the project.

I have a new found respect for Brad Pitt. For people thinking that he is doing this for publicity, I say---I don't care if he is or not. He's putting his money where his mouth is. Finally somebody is taking a bold step to make things right in New Orleans.

For 25 Cents A Day...

2007-12-06T00:16:00.001-05:00

...you can sponsor a starving comedian. Somebody get Keenan Ivory Wayans a biscuit.

Hat tip to RWS

Older White Women Join Kenya's Sex Tourists

2007-12-04T09:13:00.000-05:00

Shouts out to Gene for sending me this story. Is this any different from dinner and a movie in the U.S...followed by cheap, meaningless sex?

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MOMBASA, Kenya (Reuters) - Bethan, 56, lives in southern England on the same street as best friend Allie, 64.

They are on their first holiday to Kenya, a country they say is "just full of big young boys who like us older girls."
Hard figures are difficult to come by, but local people on the coast estimate that as many as one in five single women visiting from rich countries are in search of sex.

Allie and Bethan -- who both declined to give their full names -- said they planned to spend a whole month touring Kenya's palm-fringed beaches. They would do well to avoid the country's tourism officials.

"It's not evil," said Jake Grieves-Cook, chairman of the Kenya Tourist Board, when asked about the practice of older rich women traveling for sex with young Kenyan men.
"But it's certainly something we frown upon."
Also, the health risks are stark in a country with an AIDS prevalence of 6.9 percent. Although condom use can only be guessed at, Julia Davidson, an academic at Nottingham University who writes on sex tourism, said that in the course of her research she had met women who shunned condoms -- finding them too "businesslike" for their exotic fantasies.

The white beaches of the Indian Ocean coast stretched before the friends as they both walked arm-in-arm with young African men, Allie resting her white haired-head on the shoulder of her companion, a six-foot-four 23-year-old from the Maasai tribe.
He wore new sunglasses he said were a gift from her.

"We both get something we want -- where's the negative?" Allie asked in a bar later, nursing a strong, golden cocktail.

She was still wearing her bikini top, having just pulled on a pair of jeans and a necklace of traditional African beads.

Bethan sipped the same local drink: a powerful mix of honey, fresh limes and vodka known locally as "Dawa," or "medicine."

She kept one eye on her date -- a 20-year-old playing pool, a red bandana tying back dreadlocks and new-looking sports shoes on his feet.

He looked up and came to join her at the table, kissing her, then collecting more coins for the pool game.

"JUST UNWHOLESOME"

Grieves-Cook and many hotel managers say they are doing all they can to discourage the practice of older women picking up local boys, arguing it is far from the type of tourism they want to encourage in the east African nation.
"The head of a local hoteliers' association told me they have begun taking measures -- like refusing guests who want to change from a single to a double room," Grieves-Cook said.

"It's about trying to make those guests feel as uncomfortable as possible ... But it's a fine line. We are 100 percent against anything illegal, such as prostitution. But it's different with something like this -- it's just unwholesome."
These same beaches have long been notorious for attracting another type of sex tourists -- those who abuse children.

As many as 15,000 girls in four coastal districts -- about a third of all 12-18 year-olds girls there -- are involved in casual sex for cash, a joint study by Kenya's government and U.N. children's charity UNICEF reported late last year.
Up to 3,000 more girls and boys are in full-time sex work, it said, some paid for the "most horrific and abnormal acts."

"PREYING ON POVERTY?"

Emerging alongside this black market trade -- and obvious in the bars and on the sand once the sun goes down -- are thousands of elderly white women hoping for romantic, and legal, encounters with much younger Kenyan men.
They go dining at fine restaurants, then dancing, and back to expensive hotel rooms overlooking the coast.

"One type of sex tourist attracted the other," said one manager at a shorefront bar on Mombasa's Bamburi beach.

"Old white guys have always come for the younger girls and boys, preying on their poverty ... But these old women followed ... they never push the legal age limits, they seem happy just doing what is sneered at in their countries."
Experts say some thrive on the social status and financial power that comes from taking much poorer, younger lovers.

"This is what is sold to tourists by tourism companies -- a kind of return to a colonial past, where white women are served, serviced, and pampered by black minions," said Nottinghan University's Davidson.

"LIVE LIKE THE RICH"

Many of the visitors are on the lookout for men like Joseph.
Flashing a dazzling smile and built like an Olympic basketball star, the 22-year-old said he has slept with more than 100 white women, most of them 30 years his senior.
"When I go into the clubs, those are the only women I look for now," he told Reuters. "I get to live like the rich mzungus (white people) who come here from rich countries, staying in the best hotels and just having my fun."
At one club, a group of about 25 dancing men -- most of them Joseph look-alikes -- edge closer and closer to a crowd of more than a dozen white women, all in their autumn years.

"It's not love, obviously. I didn't come here looking for a husband," Bethan said over a pounding beat from the speakers.
"It's a social arrangement. I buy him a nice shirt and we go out for dinner. For as long as he stays with me he doesn't pay for anything, and I get what I want -- a good time. How is that different from a man buying a young girl dinner?"

Sexual Eruption

2007-12-03T22:18:00.001-05:00

This dude done lost his mind. Peep the hair-do. The nigga got bangs, yo! Hot song tho.

Is It Time To Consider The Other Side?

2007-11-30T06:52:00.000-05:00

This post comes from my boy Jermel in Maryland. The hot political topic in the black community seems to be "Hilary or Obama?"; but should that conversation be "Giuliani or Romney?" Why are we loyal to the Dems? Have they taken the black vote for granted?

----------------------------------------------------

We’ve all heard it before. “I can’t stand them damn Republicans!” But have you ever wondered why, as black people we have such an undying devotion to the Democratic Party? Most people would point towards the civil rights movement as the beginning of this marriage. It was further solidified by the Regan administration which ushered in an era of unprecedented inequality. Next Bill Clinton was virtually adopted by black society as being a “Black President”.

I certainly understand why most of us are democrats, but I wonder…Is it time to consider the other side? Now I know what you’re thinking. “George W.” led us into an unnecessary war; his administration sued the University of Michigan for giving preference to black applicants as part of their Affirmative Action program; and the federal government’s response to Katrina was abysmal. Trust me, I understand all of that, but shouldn’t we base our political affiliation on something more concrete; say like our opinions on the issues. In particular, how we should be taxed, who should pay for individuals’ health care, how tough should judges be on violent offenders, should abortion rights be decided at the state or federal level, and what role should religion play in education, if any.

I have no problem with democrats. I’m a registered democrat myself. But I also believe in evaluating each candidate based on how I believe they will perform in office. This belief caused me to vote for a republican governor during last year’s race in Maryland, and it was the first time I’ve ever voted for a “Repo”. I’m not telling you to change your party; I just believe as black people we need to become more free-willing voters, that vote based on all the issues, not just one or two. Then and only then will our concerns be taken seriously.

What do you think?

BTW, the race or sex of a candidate should not be an issue.

Attention Players: Play the Game Responsibly

2007-11-28T10:36:00.001-05:00

This post comes from one of my beloved AKA/Theta Pi sorors. In it she dicusses the Game that men and women play and the consequences that come along with it. Stats suggest that the great majority of relationships and marriages endure at least one instance of infidelity (regardless of whether the other mate will ever find out or not). Is cheating in a relationship inevitable?

Marcie is challenging you to be honest in your relationship...but if you're going to play the game, play it responsibly. It's a dirty game...

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Tupac: The Great Philosopher once said..."got my game...from our women"

Despite his tendency for a prophetic word, I think I must disagree.

To be fair, I did get my ESP, attention to detail & ability to avoid "sloppiness" from women (yes, this is going to be another relationship blog so stop reading now if you want), but I definitely learned the game from men.

Anyone who knows me, knows the majority of my friends (with the exception of my chapter sorors and a few other girls) are men. In fact, my best friend of 15+ years is a man and my closest males friends are Kappas (see my friends list). I only state these facts b/c most of my female friends would say that they (Kappas) are the absolute worse (for those with Greek affiliations) when it comes to guys telling you what they think you want to hear...code: NOT the truth.
(Disclaimer: Yes, I know (and there are) several dishonest Alphas, Ques, athletes, GDI's, etc...stay focused; Kappa bashing isn't the point of this blog.)

In fact, two major reasons I question whether I'll get married is exactly my understanding of men. In my experience (with even the most wonderful men), I believe (and have been told repeatedly by them) that all men (95% or higher) cheat. So, I technically understand that isn't ALL, but the odds of anyone (or me) ending up with one who doesn't (or wouldn't) is ummm, unlikely at best. What's even worse for me is my ability to catch a cheater. Do I instantly assume a man is cheating and start checking his pockets, messages and violate his privacy in other ways? Nope, not at all! I just ask questions and put the pieces of information together like a puzzle.

Anyone who knows me knows that I incessantly ask questions (of everyone) and have learned about the world in this way since I could talk so it's normal for me to seek lots of information. I also have a memory and a web of connections that makes me a force to be reckoned with when it comes to the flow of information I can/do receive. And most importantly, I learned my game from men. Does this mean I never get caught up? Of course not. I have emotions and get caught up with the best of them, but I keenly understand "the game" from a man's P.O.V.

This knowledge and my early experience mastering the game (I was the sickest player in my prime...who, despite my conquests and trail of broken hearts, remain friends with most of the guys I dated, teased or pleased) makes me even more opposed to playing the game (or getting played by the game) as an adult. The game is ugly, the streets are real and the consequences (pregnancy, STD's, hurt, etc.) are high.

Yes, the fear of loss for men is great. It causes many of them to enter in binding agreements (i.e. exclusive dating/sex or marriage) because they are too afraid of letting someone go. However, the selfish desire to have more than one and/or the desire to find the best one (even after an existing commitment) often trumps these binding agreements. Sadly. Thus, there are many who refuse to let the game go. If you are one of those who enjoys playing the game, AT LEAST get on the adult version of the game...Code: the TRUTH.

In 2008 (and beyond), I challenge all the "players" out there to be honest. Be honest with yourself and the people you date, or in some cases, are engaged/married to. Honesty, really is the best policy...and really, who can hate you for telling the truth? Not telling it doesn't change it! Besides, the truth ALWAYS comes to light...sometimes it just takes time...and people are always more upset about something when they've been lied to, duped or embarrased than they might have been otherwise.

I hear men groaning..."women don't want to hear the truth;" "women can't handle the truth;" "etc, etc." For those with these objections to embracing the ADULT game, I say the following:

1) Women, families and healthy relationships can't handle the consequences (refer above) of NOT knowing the truth. 2) Women can handle childbirth and broken hearts of ourselves and our friends...we can handle the truth. 3) No one, despite their best arguments, can justifiably be upset with you for giving them full disclosure and the ability to CHOOSE whether they get involved with you given your desire to date other people, etc. 4) Your word and reputation are all you have in this life. No one will ever like all your decisions, but at least they will respect you for them when you're honest...code: INTEGRITY.

And lastly...if you are a woman playing the dirty game...this blogs for you too. The more any of us continue this, the more families (esp the black family) will continue to be dismantled. In 2008, I want to see steps forward, not back.

If you make New Year's resolutions (or simply commit to constant growth and self-improvement), I hope this blog will encourage/convince/inspire you to leave that relationship BS in 2007.

Throwback: Are We Ready???

2007-11-27T08:00:00.000-05:00

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past couple months, you've heard that Senator Barack Obama is gearing up to make a run for the White House in '08. Is America ready for a Black president?

Condoleezza Rice says yes:

"Yes, I think a black person can be elected president," She said the first successful black candidate will be "judged by all the things that Americans ultimately end up making their decision on: Do I agree with this person? Do I share this person's basic values? Am I comfortable that this person is going to make decisions when I'm not in the room that are very consequential?"

Some say "yes", some say "no". I, for one, am not sure. I've heard a few schools of thought on the issue:

Some say that we ARE ready and that people have gotten past race when it comes to making political decisions. Others say that race is a HUGE barrier that will outweigh the issues at hand when people are in the ballot booths, regardless of political party affiliation.

Many black folks that I've talked to think that we are not ready, and that if Obama, or Hilary, make it out of the primaries, it will be an automatic victory for the Republican Party in '08.

Personally, I think that this issue is bigger than party affiliation. As much as I disagree with the current Administration's policies, I would probably vote for Condoleezza Rice if she decided to run for president... Or a conservative white female candidate... Or an openly gay candidate... or an Asian American candidate... or a Jewish candidate... or anything other than the current status quo (given that their ideas aren't extremely radical, right or left)...

Why? Because putting one of the aforementioned people in office will make it more possible for America to accept change. Idealistic? Maybe... maybe not.

Ignorance: ...even though Obama's middle name is Hussein.

A Conversation With A Divorced Man

2007-11-26T10:21:00.000-05:00

I'll never forget what my uncle told me. As we were sitting at his dinner table (me, him and his wife of over 30 years) he looked at me... looked at her... then looked back at me. He then says "Boy...don't you ever get married! You'll end up like me."

All I could do was laugh. "haaaaaaaa! hahaha... man you are cra..."

He was stonefaced. She was stonefaced. "you're serious"

It was awkward after that. I slowly got up and left the table. The strange thing about that statement was that he was serious, but yet he loves his wife dearly. Otherwise he wouldn't be with her. The go back and forth all the time like that, but at the end of the day, they wouldn't give the other up for anything in the world.

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago and one of my divorced frat brothers schooled me on this whole marriage thing. His advice was this:

"Before your get married, make sure you discuss sex, children, and money. Anything else you can work around, but if you aren't both on the same page with those things, your marriage will fall apart."

He said that when it comes to money, talk about how much should be saved each month, if it should be kept together in one account, and so forth.

Also, most husbands assume sex will remain the same in marriage, both in frequency and in actions performed. A lot of wives intend to make changes in the bedroom after marriage. If couples don't discuss sex before marriage, they may be in for a real shock.

Children are the biggest point of contention, apparently. Surprisingly, it's not the number desired or whether each couple even want kids. Rather, it's how the kids should be raised. While married couples do discuss names and how many they want, many overlook how kids should be raised. Are you going to spank, "whoop" or do time outs for discipline? What time are they to sleep? A difference in values will be enough for the kids to pit one parent against the other if those values are polar extremes.

In his opinion, if you discuss these three points in depth before marriage, it'll let you know if this is the person that you should marry, or if you'll be another stat. Or worse yet, you'll end up on Judge Maybelline's Court Show on a random Wednesday trying to get your CD Player and her portion of the waterbill that she owes you back.

The Illest Christmas Song Ever

2007-11-18T22:43:00.000-05:00

A lot of people don't know this, but OutKast's first single "Player's Ball" was a Christmas song. It was featured on the LaFace Family Christmas album.

Since the Christmas album did so poorly in sales and "Player's Ball" was the only bright spot on the album, L.A. Reid decided that it would make a good single to introduce the group to the rap world. They went back and edited the song to make it sound less holiday-ish. They banked on the single being successful because they figured no one would link it to the Christmas album.

I used to wonder why there were so many censored words on the video back in '94, but it turns out that the bulk of the censored phrases were Christmas and New Year's references.

If they would have released this as a Christmas song as their very first single, they could have possibly been brushed off as a gimmick by the mass public, LaFace may have put their project on the shelf, and we may have never heard anymore from hip hop's greatest duo. That was a hell of a risk to take.

Peep the above clip and hear OutKast spit lines like:

*notice the sleigh bells as the song starts*

"It's beginning to look a lot like [Christmas]..."

"Some nonsense about some 'Silent Night', I gets it crunk if it ain't real ain't right..."

"You thought I'd break my neck...to help y'all deck... the halls..."

"Hall-e-lujah, Hall-e-lujah..."

"Ain't no chimney in the ghetto so I won't be hanging no sock..."

"So ho ho hos, check my king-ass fro..."

"When the Player's Ball is happenin' on Christmas day."

So there's my useless hip hop knowledge for the day.

Supermanning Hoes

2007-11-15T19:32:00.001-05:00

Hip Hop culture is all about creating new slang. Over the years we've seen different words come and go. "Dynamite" evolved into "fresh" which evolved into "dope" which evolved into "tight" which evolved into "hot" and so on and so forth. We know what they mean now, but when they were first used a lot of people were in the dark in regards to their meaning.

Every year there's something new. Along with these words are also words and phrases that were sexual in nature that left folks scratching their heads.

Remember MC Brain's "Oochie Coochie La La La"? (yes, I'm old as shit) Would you believe that folks used to wonder what the hell he was talking about? Now we know that coochie is...well... coochie.

How about O.P.P.? When Naughty by Nature came on the scene with this little diddy, kids everywhere were singing along and asking everybody if they were down with O.P.P. It was on the radio and on video shows in HEAVY rotation. My mother almost had a heart attack when she found out that it meant "Other People's Pussy/Penis" and was an ode to infidelity.

Fast forward to 2003. Who could forget the old "awww skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet...aww skeet skeet hot damn!" To quote Dave Chappelle months after that song became a smash hit: "You know what the dope shit is about 'skeet skeet'? White people still don't known what it means." We now know (and a lot of us knew before this song dropped thanks to Dr. Dre) that skeet means ejaculating.

And there were tons of words and phrases between the gaps of the above observations i.e. brain, badonkadonk, etc.

Well now there's a new breed of slang that folks haven't figured out yet. One of them is the title of a smash hit that kids and parents everywhere are singing along with and dancing to at ballet classes and cub scout meetings everywhere.

That's right folks... supermanning hoes.

At first I brushed this off as mere nonsense because the rest of the song is mere nonsense. But the 16-year-old Soulja Boy has managed to slide a phrase into the main stream that soccer moms everywhere are oblivious to meaning-wise. As a matter of fact, this is probably one of the most disgusting slang words that I've heard of in a long while.

Apparently, supermanning a ho means ejactulating on a woman's back and putting and leaving a towel or bed sheet on her back while she's sleeping. After it dries, the towel/sheet will be stuck to her back, thus looking like a superman cape...

I wonder how big this song would have been if this was explained beforehand.

Golly gee... kids say the darndest things.